brian

24

2010-03-10T23:20:00.002-05:00

whoa
i'm halfway there
livin on a prayer

my mom died at 48
i turned 24 yesterday
an odd feeling
to be at the midpoint of her life

i went to see Crazy Heart
power went out halfway through
wound up with 4 free movie passes
kind of worked out for me haha

i am so lost with Lost
i don't even know what to say

i really sucked with my oscar predictions
i usually outguess Entertainment Weekly
by one or two, but i really blew it
oh well, i didn't get as into it this year

Sandra Bullock was really funny
i'm so glad Precious won for writing
and disappointed Inglourious Basterds did not
i really want to see The Cove and Logorama

tonight at work there was a bookfair
for my elementary school
i only recognized two teachers
yesterday they began tearing that school down
i feel old

i am 24, ya know

Oscar Predictions '10

2010-03-07T11:29:00.002-05:00

Best Picture
prediction: Avatar
my vote: Inglourious Basterds

Best Actor
prediction: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
my vote: Colin Firth, A Single Man

Best Actress
prediction: Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
my vote: Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Supporting Actor
prediction: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
my vote: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Supporting Actress
prediction: Mo'Nique, Precious
my vote: Mo'Nique, Precious

Best Director
prediction: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
my vote: Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Original Screenplay
prediction: The Hurt Locker
my vote: Inglourious Basterds

Adapted Screenplay
prediction: Up In The Air
my vote: Precious

Animated Feature
prediction: Up
my vote: Up

(just predictions from here on)

Cinematography - Avatar
Editing - Avatar
Art Direction - Avatar
Costume Design - The Young Victoria
Makeup - The Young Victoria
Score - Avatar
Song - The Weary Kind from Crazy Heart
Sound Mixing - Avatar
Sound Editing - Avatar
Visual Effects - Avatar

I don't even know where to begin predicting Foreign Language Film, Documentary Feature, Documentary Short, Short Film Animated, Short Film Live Action.

doing my worst

2010-02-25T23:23:00.004-05:00

i'm a total failure with this resolution
though the past 3 wednesdays
have been some of the most exhausting days of my life
meaning, no alone time at all

3 wednesdays ago was the blizzard
my friends rosie and bridget were here all day
which was a lot of fun
we watched movies and i got them started on Glee

last week i had work from 11-7
then met rosie for dinner
then we watched Lost
(which i had missed the night before)
and then we finished Glee
it was then 1am

yesterday i worked at another B&N
from 8am until 3:45
then had to be at my store at 4 for a meeting
and then had to be home by 5:15
for my aunt to pick me up for a viewing

my mom's friend passed away suddenly
i hadn't seen her much in recent years
but when i was younger i saw her a lot
i used to sleep over her place, even without my mom
and we'd watch movies all weekend
she will be missed

i'm having dreams about my cousins a lot
i just want them to know i'm here for them

Lost has been crazy
it's hard to not watch that show on dvd
i've always thought the "infection"
was a parallel to terrorism
live in fear of it
and the scariest part
winds up being the fear
but maybe i'm wrong

i miss 30 rock
won't miss the olympics

i've fallen asleep
both times i started watching
The Hurt Locker
who naps during an Iraq war movie?

20 minutes ago when i began this post
my computer literally turned completely off
when i plugged my headphones in
i think it's time to start shopping around
mac or hp?

wednesday

2010-02-03T23:21:00.002-05:00

the day of the week
on plan

my uncle passed away three weeks ago
just days from his 57th bday
my heart aches for my 5 cousins
this wasn't supposed to happen to them too

i think i've bottled up so much over the years
i've forgotten how to cry
nearly every day for 2 weeks
i threw up in the morning
instead of crying

my favorite customer of the week
"well that's an oxymoron
Glenn Beck's Common Sense
i don't know where you stand
but no matter where you stand
that's an oxymoron"

my least favorite was today
she can't be summed up in a quote
and i'm focusing on the positive
so i went on a 20 minute walk tonight
to shake it all off

applied to a few jobs yesterday
time to get out of the bookstore

oscar noms are out
i think i like the 10 best pic noms
tho it makes more work for me
as a registered voter
ha, i wish

again

2010-01-28T22:32:00.001-05:00

man, i am so bad at this
i've been really out of it
and not feeling well
after the passing of my uncle
i bought 2 self-help books today
maybe i'll do a real post soon

crap.

2010-01-21T18:19:00.001-05:00

i already messed up
good thing nobody knows i'm doing this
still not in good spirits
will write more soon

wicked

2010-01-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

when you have a death in the family
go see a broadway musical
takes your mind off things
showtunes cleanse the soul

i don't have the right words at the time
but keeping up my wednesday promise

2010

2010-01-06T23:53:00.002-05:00

ok so here is my new year's resolution
i'm going to update my blog every wednesday
for the whole year

i haven't worked out the details yet
say, if i'm away or at work all night

some posts may be incredibly short
(like this one)
i'll post on other days when i feel it
but the quick and dry is
every wednesday there will be an update

thoughts to sum up the day:
-carrie bradshaw must have been exhausted
-happy birthday bridget, i love you!
-i have another one pertaining to work
but i feel like that isn't a good idea
privacy settings will be looked into tomorrow

happy 2010
on we go

still got it

2009-11-16T11:42:00.001-05:00

i am still alive

2009-09-15T01:39:00.003-04:00

Hello out there blog friends. I don't know what happened, but I got out of the blogging rhythm. I just perfomed some maintenance, like updating my age, etc. So, I think I'll be back into the swing of things soon. There is a little-known blog phenomenon called The Jess Silver Experience. I am only the second known blogger to have survived it. It's when you see your friend Jess Silver for the first time in a while and she tells you - kindly, yet seriously - that she enjoys reading your blog. Blog writer is then inspired to update. Normally I feel funny when friends bring up things I write to me in person, but this one was a good one.

Here's some pop cultural thoughts before I go to sleep and open Barnes & Noble in the morning:

Inglourious Basterds is a terrific film. I wouldn't typically call myself a Tarantino fan, nor a hater, but this movie is worth checking out. It's got that unique Tarantino flair to it and is a great story. Christoph Waltz, whom I never heard of before this film, is amazingly haunting. A Supporting Actor Oscar is in order.

I love Ellen DeGeneres, I really do. I think she's a funny, positive, upbeat person. But a judge on American Idol? I don't know about this. At the same time, I don't watch American Idol, so I don't really care, it was just surprising.

I think Kanye West is a talented musician and I would typically give him the benefit of the doubt. Of course I like to take sides on a good controversial celebrity. But this Taylor Swift thing at the VMAs just makes him too hard to defend now. I didn't even watch the VMAs - I got home from work and everyone's status was something about it. I guess Kanye said it best himself with "that's enough, mr. west, please no more today."

The Emmys are this weekend. I'm still in season one of Mad Men and haven't even watched Grey Gardens yet. I suck. But I'm going to try to get some predictions up before the big night. Ugh, I just realized I'm probably going to have to work and set a tape for it. I need TiVo. And Sirius Radio. A Mac. And a new car. Any monetary donators?

Oprah and Whitney, part one. Great stuff. Cannot wait for tomorrow. Whitney is still nuts, yet together. Jay Leno has the same show. It was good, just nothing new, besides the time slot.

Finally, I'm saddened by the passing of Patrick Swayze. I grew up in love, and still am, with Ghost. That movie will always have a sentimental spot in my mind. I bet Whoopi will be sad tomorrow, I would actually tune in for once if I didn't have work. RIP Mr. Swayze.

Oscar Predictions 09

2009-02-21T12:27:00.007-05:00

The day we've all been waiting for: I predict the winners. Or try my best to, at least. I'm going to do the same thing I did last year, but for those new readers out there, I'll explain my format. Entertainment Weekly is my bible, so I say who they predict to win. I then say which nominee I would vote for if I were a member of the Academy (one day I will be). I'll then offer some commentary, as I have seen basically all of the nominees. And then (please focus Zale sisters) I state who I think will win the award. Feel free to rub it in my face if I get things wrong.

Best Picture
EW's pick: Slumdog Millionaire
My vote: Milk
I've seen all of the Best Pic noms, despite the fact that I haven't blogged about any of them. I've been really behind. I liked all of the nominees a lot, which is a nice change from last year. I expected Frost/Nixon to be boring and it wasn't, so I liked it more than I anticipated, but it's not the best of the year. The Reader gives a very interesting point of view to the Holocaust, but, again, not the best of the year. Benjamin Button is good, but just too long. Slumdog is a great movie, don't get me wrong, but I think I missed what everyone else is seeing. I guess it was just too hyped up. Also, I feel like I need to see it a second time to get everything that happened, which isn't a bad thing, but I dunno, I didn't fall in love. Milk, I think, is the best all-around movie of the year. Great story, acting, length. It's just a really well-done film and you get it all upon first viewing. That being said, I think Slumdog is a deserving winner and I won't be bitter or anything, like those Saving Private Ryan fans.

my final prediction: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Director
EW's pick: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
My vote: Gus Van Sant, Milk
This category has all the same nominees as best pic. I doubt the Academy will mismatch picture and director, so Boyle is a safe bet. I would vote for Van Sant for the same reasons I just stated. Ron Howard, for Frost/Nixon, won for A Beautiful Mind, though I just realized that's already 7 years ago now. I think the Academy liked Ben Button enough to nominate it, but I don't think they'll really vote for it in top categories - sorry, David Fincher. I really like Stephen Daldry because I liked The Reader and The Hours and I think he'll win one day, but not this one.

my final prediction: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor
EW's pick: Sean Penn, Milk
My vote: Sean Penn, Milk
Mickey Rourke is very good in The Wrestler, but, at the same time, he's kind of playing himself. I really liked The Visitor, it's a great movie, and Richard Jenkins is good in it, but this is the movie's only nomination. I don't think Brad Pitt is a particularly impressive actor. He's not bad either and nominating him is fine, but he doesn't deserve the win. Frank Langella is very good as Nixon, but he doesn't carry the whole movie like Penn and Rourke do. Penn is more transformative and the movie is up for more, but won't win best pic so this is a good place to reward it with a top prize. And although Penn's recent win for Mystic River does hurt his odds a bit, I just can't see the Academy awarding Rourke the Oscar because he's rather trashy looking and they are uptight like that. Rourke has a shot, but I think Penn will walk away with it.

my final prediction: Sean Penn, Milk

Best Actress
EW's pick: Kate Winslet, The Reader
My vote: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Meryl Streep is terrific in Doubt and it's an excellent film, it should be nominated for best pic. She has a shot at winning because she hasn't won in a while, but still, she's already won twice. Kate has never ever won and she's so talented and I really just love her. Melissa Leo is good in Frozen River, also a movie you should watch, it's good and different - but nobody has seen that. Anne Hathaway is great in Rachel Getting Married, but the film has no other noms. And Anjelina is already an Oscar winner. I really really want Kate to win and I think it is her year.

my final prediciton: Kate Winslet, The Reader

Best Supporting Actor
EW's pick: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
my vote: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Man, I'm really going with the mainstream on these acting picks. But seriously, Heath was great in this film and he was a great actor. I honestly think he would win it even if he was still alive and he deserves it. Philip Seymour Hoffman won recently. Josh Brolin is a great actor and I loved Milk, but I don't know that his performance warrants an Oscar - the nomination is enough. Michael Shannon's part in Revolutionary Road is too small, though he is good and eccentric, and nobody knows who he is. Robert Downey Jr. is funny in Tropic Thunder, I enjoyed that movie more than I expected to, but for a comedic role, the nomination is the award.

my final prediction: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Best Supporting Actress
EW's pick: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
My vote: Amy Adams, Doubt
Here I'm throwing a curve ball. I like Penelope Cruz and she is very fiery in VCB, which is a good movie. But Amy Adams has the most substantial role of all the nominees - granted, it is the supporting category, so that shouldn't matter, but I really think she held her own with Meryl and Philip and I just really like her and think she is talented, so she would grab my vote. Marisa Tomei's part isn't that crucial and she's already won. Taraji P. Henson is good in Ben Button, but she won't win. Viola Davis has a decent shot to upset, she was good and has garnered rave reviews. But it's such a bit part and it's not like she's Judi Dench, she's relatively new to film, so I just dont think it will happen.

my final prediction: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Original Screenplay
EW's pick: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
My vote: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
As I've said, Milk is the best picture of the year and it deserves this award. Also, it's the only best pic nom in the category, so it's pretty much a lock. Frozen River is good, but not the best. I didn't get to see Happy-Go-Lucky, though it looks good and unique, but overall the movie doesn't have much support. In Bruges was just alright, I didn't love it. Honestly, I didn't love Wall-E. It's a good idea for a movie, but it could have been better.

my final prediction: Dustin Lance Black, Milk

Adapted Screenplay
EW's pick: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
My vote: John Patrick Shanley, Doubt
I had a tough time picking my vote because I really liked Doubt and The Reader. I think Kate will win for The Reader, so I want Doubt to have a top award because I think it deserves one. I've already expressed my opinion on the other nominees.

my final prediction: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire

Ok, now I'm pressed for time, so I'm just gonna give my predictions for the rest of the categories:

Cinematography - Slumdog Millionaire
Editing - Slumdog Millionaire
Art Direction - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Costume Design - The Duchess
Makeup - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Original Score - Slumdog Millionaire
Original Song - Slumdog Millionaire ("Jai Ho")
Sound Mixing - The Dark Knight
Sound Editing - The Dark Knight
Visual Effects - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Animated Feature - Wall-E, no question
Foreign Language Film - Vals Im Bashir (Israel)
Documentary Feature - Man on Wire
Doc Short, Animated Short Film, & Live Action Short - Your guess is as good as mine

in 2008 i:

2009-01-19T23:32:00.020-05:00

voted for a woman

went to boston

graduated from college

spent a week in sea isle, nj

(the spinnaker, the condos we stayed in)

spent a week in cape cod

and visited provincetown

went to nyc

and saw rent

saw philly, of course

finally got my license

voted for our first black president

and started working at b&n

disclaimer: i didn't take even one of these pictures

also: making this post was a pain in the ass, don't expect any more photo essays

Happy New Year!

2009-01-12T23:59:00.000-05:00

I've been out of the blogosphere for a few weeks. I wish I had a good excuse like being away on vacation or something, but no. I've just been working at Barnes & Noble - Christmas week was ridiculously busy. I'm actually becoming decent at gift wrapping, which is a plus. Mainly because the people who request it do so because they hate doing it and aren't picky, they just want the book covered. Yesterday, the cutest little Asian boy came up to my register. "Can I buy this book, sir? It's 8 dollars." He put his book and a 10 dollar bill on the counter. I told him that with tax it was a little more, 8 dollars and some change. "What's tax?" How do I explain that? "Well, buddy, the state charges you..." I didn't say that and I don't even remember what I said, but, after a moment of thinking, he knew that his 10 dollar bill was still enought to cover it. He saw we had books from the Twilight series behind the counter. "Oh! My sister is looking for those, I'll tell her you have them." He said he didn't need a bag, which I love when customers say. I handed him his change and his receipt. He put it away in his velcro wallet and, trying to do it in an organized fashion, said, "This is hard stuff." He was seriously the cutest thing. And then he ran away so excited to have his book. I said, "Have a good day, buddy." "You too! Thank you, sir!" I wanted to take him home with me, but I think there are laws against that.

I've been intending to do a 2008 year-in-review type of post, but I don't have it all ready just yet, but soon. I'll be focusing on the positive points of my year, just so ya know.

I've also seen a lot of movies that I want to write about. So, I have some good posts coming. I love having my license for awards season, I'm so on top of seeing movies. I enjoyed The Golden Globes last night. Drew Barrymore and Renee Zellweger looked ridiculous. I was so happy that Kate Winslet won twice and I'm dying to see both of her movies. I could have honestly cried when she talked about how much she loves Leo. I can't explain that, I guess it falls into the category of how I think I know Rosie and the cast of Friends. I was only in 6th grade when Titanic came out, that's so weird. I can't believe it had been 2 years since the last GGs ceremony. And that it's been a year since I went back to school for my last semester and had a panic attack and vomited and called my dad crying. I did all of this during the GGs Press Conference they did in lieu of the ceremony. Stupid writer's strike. Which I supported, but still annoying.

Tonight, as I left my friend's house, I wasn't ready to go home just yet. I decided to drive around. And did so for about an hour. I drove past all of my old schools. I was in an oddly nostalgic mood. Driving past my high school, I thought about how my mom died when I was in the middle of it. I've lived for so long without her now, I had to remind myself that I went to that school for 2 years and still came home to her at the end of the day. It was only the last 2 years that I came home to an empty house. I drove past my 5th & 6th grade school. That was odd because I don't see it all the time (my elementary school is at the top of my street). I looked at the playground, the basketball courts I never used, the track I used to walk around at lunch. I was a part of The Mile Club, I think it was called? So dorky. I thought about how I went into that school over ten years ago now, which seems unreal. I remember how scared I was on my first day. Back in September 1996. I thought about how I didn't take the bus home on Mondays - I got picked up and went to CCD and I hated it. Catholicism never took to my brain. I didn't even know some of my current best friends, but was in the same building as them every day. My mom was alive and, for the most part, healthy. Our country being at war was something we did in the past, before I was born. Bill Clinton was up for reelection - impeachment as crazy an idea as war. September 11th was just another fall day and would be for another 5 years. The Rosie O'Donnell Show had just started that summer - I wonder if I had even seen it yet, I have no idea. Friends was only starting its 3rd season and I didn't even watch it yet. My best friends were all boys. I probably said "gay" to describe something I deemed "uncool." I was a baby, only 10, but I thought I was so old at the time. Seems like another life. One I hadn't looked at in a long time, until tonight, and many feelings flooded my body. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and saw me - as I hope you reading this blog can see me.

And final thought of the night: I am, of course, disappointed that Rosie is ending her blog. I'll miss the sense of community I felt when reading the Ask Ro section. Maybe she'll be back one day, but I'm not banking on it. I love Rosie, no matter what. I support her decision. If it's the right thing for her to do, then it's all ok. I'd rather her end the blog than continue to do it for us when she's not feeling it. She could have never blogged in the first place, so I'll take what she generously gave over the past couple years. I see her. I get her. And I'm leaving her blog a changed person with a more mature world view. I hope she knows that.

my dad's mom

2008-12-22T15:24:00.001-05:00

my grandmother has called me a liar twice in my life
the first time i was around 10
my brother and i were at the beach with her
for a whole week while my mom got surgery

on the fridge was a small watermelon magnet
we were in the living room playing "i spy"
my bro spied something red
and we guessed everything possible
i thought to myself
"there's red on that magnet but he can't see that from here"
so i didn't guess it

when we gave up, he said it was the magnet
"oh man! i knew it! i was gonna guess that!"
"brian, come here"
"what?"
she took my arm in her hand
"you're lying"
"no, i really thought of it, but-"
she cut me off
"you're lying"

that's probably the thing i hate the most
when you're telling the truth
and get accused of lying
and no way to prove it true
so frustrating

my brother is currently anti-family gatherings
not going to my grandmother's for dinner on xmas
she's pissed and is trying to call him
he's not picking up the phone
so she called me last night
i answered

she asked if he's in the house
"i'm not sure"
which, i wasn't
i hang out in my room, he in the basement
"can you find out and put him on the phone?"
"yeah"
"you know he's home"

i went down to the basement
lights off, not here
i went to the living room where my dad was
held the phone out for her to hear
"is bob home?"
"no, he left, went to his friend ryan's house"

"no, he's not home, he went out"
"you're lying, you're talking to him"
"no, that was my dad"
"uh, well, i guess i have to believe you"

it had been so long since i heard those words
"you're lying"
in that intonation she uses

truth is my goal
i'm not a liar

people lie to her often
and she believes it because she wants to
and then i tell her the truth
but she doesn't want it to be
so i'm told i'm lying

i really think she's crazy

i hope she brings it up on christmas
i'll say something back to her
but i'm sure she "won't hear it"

old catholic women
think they know everything

karma

2008-12-07T23:59:00.001-05:00

my 2nd shift at B&N
i only had one penny
left in my cash drawer
customer needed 9 cents change
decided it would be easier
to just give him a dime
and ask for more change
when theres nobody in line

when i went on break
i grabbed a penny
from my wallet
and stuck it in my drawer
all even.

i still don't know my hourly wage
but i know it cost me one cent.

after work i went to wawa
my total was some dollars
and 18 cents
"hang on, i have change
10, 15, 16, 17"
i only had 17 cents

just as i began to think
"that damn penny i spent"
the cashier says
"don't worry about it"
and spotted me a penny
all even.

agoraphobia

2008-12-05T01:53:00.004-05:00

the only time i've been outside
since sunday
was orientation last night
that's really bad

i woke up by 1pm today
still late but better
than 2:45

i woke up to an email from my aunt
asking about my night at B&N
she had written it 3 hours ago
as i wrote my reply
my phone rang
it was her
i hadn't replied quickly enough
"i was just writing an email back"
"ok, would you rather do that or talk?"
why didn't i pick finish my email??

i told her all about orientation
and when i finished
"have you applied to The Metro?"
"no"
"well you should think about it
you're going too long without health coverage"

the conversation was going in a positive direction
i got a job, it began, and drove myself there
i was doing things right
my family can't handle that, it feels like

and i don't think b&n is my career
and of couse i know health benefits are important
but is it too much to ask for one conversation?
just ONE?! that is positive about me

"i'm glad you found any job in this recession
and i'm glad your night went well"
and then just stop talking
that's all i wanted
just this once

it's been over 12 hours and i'm still mad
and just a few minutes ago
i hit my boiling point

my brother gets these project ideas in his head
and talks about them extensively
but never does a single thing
and that's fine

but do i have to listen to this at 1:30am?
i'm trying to have my midnight snack
(peanut butter and jelly, so good still)

he went on and on about turning our house
into a duplex, or triplex, or something
something i don't care about
because it will never happen

and he talked about work
and family stuff
and on and on

then i washed the two butter knives i used
one for peanut butter, one for jelly
i felt him watching me wash

i thought:
"what's he gonna say?"
i had bent the sponge in half
i was sure it would be that

"can you put some pressure on that?"
apparently you have to push
on butter knives
with a certain strength
that is measured by sight
or else the soap will not clean them

"i was just thinking, i wonder how i'm doing this wrong?"
hoping that would get my annoyance across
but then he repeated his comment about soap/knife/sponge pressure

"i'm going upstairs"
"ok, goodnight, bri"
i didn't say it back

when i got to the top of the stairs
i screamed
i punched my bedroom door twice
and slammed it shut
felt amazing

if i had said something more
the response would have been
"i'm just messin with ya"
so it does no good
i'm wrong because i'm younger

then he asked if i'm ok
"yeah, i'm fine"
"what was that?"
"i don't know what you're talking about"
"oh, must have been next door"
"yeah, must have been"

if i hear one more person talk about health insurance
or tell me i'm doing something inside this house wrong
i will go crazy
again, i should say

here's another brian dichotomy
i can't wait to get out of this house
yet have only been outside once all week

my brother told me
during his endless talking
that he's in an unhappy rut
and then talked about buying this house
he doesn't see the connection
he needs to get out of this house
and move on
but i can't say that
because he'll get defensive
he won't understand what i'm saying
because he's never lived anywhere else
i have
and i know i can't stay here

and now i'm all annoyed again, haha
thanks for listening
reading, i guess
i needed to get that out

orientation

2008-12-03T23:54:00.003-05:00

I'm obsessed with the Eric Hutchinson CD. It's named Sounds Like This. My favorite tracks are "Food Chain" and "Oh!" And I don't think I ever said that I love Duffy's CD, entitled Rockferry. My favorite tracks on that are "Stepping Stone" and "Warwick Avenue." I'm listening to both on repeat. Eric reminds me of someone, but I can't think of who. Duffy is really unique. Get these CDs! Eric & Duffy. Side Note: When I just logged into Amazon to get those links, their recommendations for me were "DVDs featuring Debra Messing." Looks like they got me down pat already ;)

Tonight was my first night at Barnes & Noble. Orientation from 5-8 that went 40 minutes beyond schedule. Luckily I got paid for the whole time. Though I still don't know what my pay is. It was a group orientation group - there were 5 of us. I didn't know if I should ask about pay because maybe we aren't all making the same. I was the youngest in the group. A girl in the group is around my age, maybe a year or two older. The other three are adults with children. Not babies, but high school and up. I want to say more about them, but I don't know if I should. I don't want to have to put privacy settings on my blog. I should keep a journal in addition to this. The girl around my age is from New Jersey. Trying to make conversation, I asked, "Did you just move here?" I assumed the answer would be "yes." She said, "Well, my parents live in Jersey, but my aunt lives here." Then I felt awkward, like I was prying into some family drama she didn't want to talk about. "Oh ok.. sorry.. didn't mean to be nosy" I said. She laughed and said, "No, it's not nosy." Hopefully I didn't make her feel uncomfortable.

I'm relieved that I will not be in the coffee shop. I'll be a "bookseller." But really, I'll be a cashier. It seems like we won't be getting much training on the actual floor. In fact, they told us that when we leave the register for break and head to the back of the store we should take our name tags off so we don't get stopped and asked questions because we won't be able to help the customer appropriately. I'm not really complaining about that honestly if I'm just there for the holidays. But I hope they keep me longer. So then we get a tour of the store and all the sections of the floor. And all the names of the different types of tables and displays. Ya know, the things we don't need to know because we can't help the customers. That took way too long. But my bosses and fellow new employees seem very nice.

I've been asked so many questions about this job and here is the most important answer everyone is looking for: I get 30% off! Sweet. AND I get 50% off everything in the cafe, which will be great for when I want to eat on a break. I think it's 20% off dvds and cds, but we actually are a smaller store and don't have one of those sections. But my discount extends to all B&Ns. Though their media section is overpriced, haha. Also, sweet perk, I can take any hardback book out of the store for 2 weeks to read and return it in sale condition. Bangin. My first shift is Friday 6-close. We'll see how it goes...

I've had a really messed up sleep schedule. I wasn't getting into bed until around 4am. Today I slept til 2:45pm. That's not a typo, I woke up after my high school had been dismissed. While this orientation wasn't long and I didn't do anything, it was mentally exhausting, so much information. I feel beat. My goal is to be asleep by 2am. It's now 1:25. I don't know blog posts take me so long. I get distracted and sidetracked. I opened this post an hour and a half ago. I need to get more focused when I do this because this is part of the reason I stay up late. I'm gonna try to get back into posting about movies more often and having a whole post to just the movie after Lacey paid me a nice compliment :) Thank you.

Goodnight & PEACE

online perks

2008-12-02T23:59:00.006-05:00

For years now I have used Amazon.com. I would often look up movies, books, tv shows, cds. But I was always held back from the fun part - purchasing. My dad scared me and said that if I use my debit card online, someone could get my information and wipe out all my money. So, I was a good kid and went through all of college without online shopping. It was tough. But I know my life and that the one time I would decide to purchase something would be the time the site gets compromised and my dad would be proven right. I first broke the "rule" a couple months ago. The Rosie O'Donnell Show season one dvd was released and only available through HSN.com. I had no other choice than to use my debit online - I mean, I had to buy that. Today, I lived the dream. I bought stuff from Amazon!! I showed my dad the stuff I was looking at as Christmas gift ideas for myself and showed him the sale prices that were only lasting through today. He approved and lent me his credit card to make the purchases. I got Desperate Housewives season 4 for 30 bucks - it's 50 bucks at Best Buy. The book The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, which I read last winter break and absolutely loved it. (I blogged about it here.) I had borrowed it from my aunt and since it was on sale for only $6, I decided it was a good opportunity to get my own copy. And this next one was totally unplanned, but a pleasant surprise. I noticed that the Kathy Griffin comedy special dvd, entitled Allegedly, was on sale for on 6.50, so I got that too. I proceeded to check out and it felt great.

In fact so great, that I did exactly what I feared. I went back later today and bought more. This time with my debit card. oops. Damn my addictive personality. I was good though, I got the first two seasons of Frasier for my aunt to go with her new tv & dvd player. They were $21 each, which is really good. And, of course, I got a little something for myself. The first season of Pushing Daisies was on sale for only 19 bucks, so I treated myself. Though I may still have my dad give it to me for Christmas. So really I'm doing him a favor by shopping online! (I'll keep telling myself that.) Anyway, I'm excited to get packages in the mail! Best part of it all when that delivery truck pulls up and is coming to your house.

I used to really love the Holiday Season; now I just get pumped for Oscar Season. The holidays have become stressful and less magical. The Oscars, however boring to many, always entertain me. There are a lot of movies out now and coming out soon that I'm excited to see. I'm also really glad I finally have my license now because I don't have to stress about being prepared for the awards because I can go see things alone if need be. (Or if I'm in the mood.) I really want to see Milk, which is out already but a limited release. I'll wait until it expands because going into the city makes the movie-going experience more expensive (train ticket). I cannot wait until Doubt comes out, I am obsessed with Meryl Streep. I think it looks really good and dramatic. I also think Synecdoche, New York looks good - quirky, yet entertaining. Australia is already out, maybe I'll see that this weekend. As much as I want to hate Brad Pitt (because I'm Team Aniston), I just can't totally do it. I think Jennifer has moved on way more than I have. [I guess I never explained this on the blog before, but those of you who know me understand. But to my fellow Rosie fans, I was absolutely obsessed with the show Friends. I still love it and it will always be my number one show. It played a role in my life like TROS did. I delusionally think I know them and that they are my friends. So, I put an effort into supporting their post-Friends careers.] I want to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - that looks really different and interesting and Cate Blanchett is phenomenal. I don't like dogs, but I will go see Marley & Me because Jennifer is in it and parts were filmed in West Chester. I have absolutely no idea what Revolutionary Road is about, but I'm excited for it because it stars The Dream Team - Leo & Kate. I still love Titanic all these years later. In fact, I often say As Good As It Gets is my favorite movie, but I still think Titanic should have won Best Picture that year because it was the greatest production. AGAIG is more of a personal favorite. I think Frost/Nixon looks boring, honestly, but I'll go see it because it will be praised by the Academy. And apparently a move called Slumdog Millionaire is garnering buzz, so I'll try to check that out too. I gotta make a list. Oh, also, I want to see Bolt.

And the highlight of my day:

Totally random question, I know. But it just popped into my head and I thought, I bet Ro will answer this. I started submitting my questions with the name Brian Plunk to distinguish from other Brians. Though now she has only answered one of my questions with this name and seven without. I guess my goal would be that when I meet her I can say, "I'm Brian Plunk," but I may have messed that up by not using it until later. Oh well. She has answered me 8 times in just over a year. Well, that's not entirely true. I've been writing in for longer than that, but I didn't get my first response until October 2007. So, since my first reply (aka since I learned how to ask things she will answer), I've gotten 8 replies, which is pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. Nothing compared to DebC9, of course, but good compared to others.

Yesterday I forgot to mention that it was World AIDS Day and while I don't personally know anyone affected by the disease, I think it's important to take the time to remember those we've lost and stand by those currently suffering. Some feel that those who have been inflicted with this disease deserve it because they could have prevented it. I don't share that sentiment. They are still humans and do not deserve to die because they had unprotected sex with someone who did not disclose their medical information. Here's to continuing to work towards a cure. Remember, AIDS does not discriminate.

Tomorrow I have my first day at Barnes & Noble - I'm a little excited, not really nervous actually. I would be more excited, but I've grown accustomed to bumming around the house all day, haha. I know it needs to end. I better get a good discount ;)

December First

2008-12-01T23:59:00.001-05:00

It's hard to believe it is December. New Year's doesn't feel long ago at all and now it's approaching again. I did Black Friday shopping for the first time this year. I went with my aunt and she bought two HD flat screen tvs. Not just flat screen, but like flat TV that you hang on the wall. I'm not even jealous because I'm so shocked and happy. She's one of those people the HD conversion would have affected because she doesn't have cable. The TV in her living room is about my age and didn't even have a remote. Going to her house was almost tortorous because of this, but things are looking up. She's pondering getting basic cable, though I won't get my hopes up. She recently got a DVD player too, so visiting her will no longer have the lack of entertainment. I can take my movies and tv shows to watch if she doesn't get cable. It feels weird to post this on the internet. Like putting someone else's business out there, but I'm just so happy about it, I have to share.

I got a bunch of DVDs on Friday, it was a lot of fun. I thought I would miss out on the good stuff because we didn't go until about 9am, but we didn't miss a thing. My aunt got the TVs she wanted at the doorbuster prices (though she called them "blockbuster," "doorknocker," and more). And I got all the DVDs I had seen would be on sale. I thought I would miss out on Sex and the City (the movie) being just $10 and I did at Best Buy. But then found it at Target - someone had placed a copy in the book section and I snagged it. And actually I think it was $9 there. I also got Baby Mama for just 10 bucks. I got Atonement for 5, which I didn't love, but would like to rewatch. Same price for Pan's Labyrinth, which I haven't even seen, but think I will like. And I got Juno for 6 bucks. I think I'm gonna have my dad give these to me for xmas and have him give me the cash. So while I did some selfish shopping, I'm at least helping my dad out by not only getting it done, but in a money-saving fashion. He hates shoppping and spending money. I also got my brother the final season of Seinfeld for 15 bucks when it's normally 40. Can't beat it. I now love Black Friday and will look forward to it every year. Screw Thanksgiving.

I also got movies as gifts for my aunt that she picked out. Okay, some of them I put in her hand and said, "you have to get this." I did that with Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby, and The Departed. All of which were five bucks! She, at least, agreed. She also picked out Atonement and the movie Seven, which surprised me. She totally got manlier movies than I did! (Though I do actually own all of those titles, it's still funny.) OH! also, I got the Eric Hutchinson CD for 5 bucks and I really enjoy it. And, um, some other one. Okay, fine, I got a Celine Dion CD for 5 bucks. Also great. I'm not sure why I'm sharing all of this, but I guess this is what blogging is all about. Still getting comfortable after a year.

I enjoyed Rosie's variety show. Certainly not perfect. What pilot episode is? I'm certainly not surprised it isn't coming back, but still disappointed. I think with some tweaking, editing it could have been great. But people today aren't used to watching variety shows. And plenty of people dislike Rosie. It was a tough venture and I'm glad she tried. I know this is weird, but I think of her as a friend, so I'm proud of her for giving her best shot and am glad she got to live a dream of hosting a special like that. Kathy Griffin was hilarious impersonating Nancy Grace. Alanis Morissette was fantastic. The giveaways were amazing and the song to go along with it - performed by 30 Rock's Jane Krakowski. It felt a little odd to have people like Clay Aiken, Conan O'Brien, Rachael Ray come out for just a moment. I like all of them and I think it's cool they were interested in being a part of the show, but it felt too rushed. There was too much to put into just an hour. And the Liza Minnelli production number fell flat. I still love you, Rosie! And I'll end my thoughts there.

Today I watched Persepolis. It's a really good animated film about the childhood and early adulthood of a woman named Marjane Satrapi. It's based on the graphic memoir of the same name. It's also a foreign film, but luckily there is an English track. I may have taken a bit away from the film, but I just wasn't in the mood to read it. Marjane grew up in Iran during the revolution - aka the Shah of Iran. She is very outspoken and her parents fear for her safety because that is no longer a valued attribute for a woman to have. They send her away to live with a friend who changes her mind upon Marjane's arrival. Marjane then hops around from place to place and is homeless at times. It's a very interesting story. She later returns to her family in Iran and sees how things have changed there. She gets married and divorced. A lot of stuff happens, I'm just glossing over. It's very interesting to see what she went through. And what is most shocking is that by the end of the film she is only, like, 23, I think. I find it fascinating to read stories about people living on their own and going through so much by the age I am now. I feel like I have done nothing independently. Though I guess I wouldn't know how I would handle finding my own housing because I've never had to before. Anyway, check this movie out if you are interested, it's only 90 minutes.

Happy December!

10/23

2008-11-23T23:59:00.000-05:00

friday was one year since
my grandmom died
unreal
doesn't seem like that long

losing a mother
something neither of my parents experienced
and i'm still dealing with
probably always will be

and i've seen both of my grandmothers
lose a daughter
sad.

today i saw
the boy in the striped pajamas
the title reminds me of a movie
i would have studied in a film class
and we would have had a big discussion
about just the title

it's a really great movie
but overly depressing
a lot i want to say
but i won't ruin it

protagonist is bruno, 8 year old boy
lives in a compound near a camp
his dad is a soldier, as they call him
we'd call him a nazi

bruno becomes friends with schmuel
jewish boy, same age
prisoner of the camp
schmuel wears striped pajamas

i enjoyed that it's only 90 minutes
it's tough to watch holocaust movies
and tv-on-dvd has killed my attention span

go see it
but be prepared
if i showed emotion
i would have balled.

i finally heard back from barnes & noble
"we hope you can make orientation on wednesday"
i thought: no, i have rosie's show to watch
"december 3rd"
sigh of relief

so, i'm going there december 3rd
5-8pm
and that is all i know
i haven't found out pay, discount, anything
nothing else
that's all i know.

and then came the awkward dinner
early thanksiving
me, dad, brother
future stepmom, future stepsister

it ended with what i expected
i should have called it on the blog
the wedding date announcement
10/10/10 in hawaii

in a movie someone would have said
"i have plans that day"
and actually, last night my friends and i
talked about how that's kara's 25th bday
and we should do something fun for it

"open bar at the wedding?"
future stepsister asked
to break the awkward silence
i think it was a planned joke
she knew this was coming
bro and i did not

first serious conversation
with my future family unit

my dad said he already did a church wedding
so something different this time
he'll leave the church to my grandmom
"for her second wedding?" i joked
my dad laughed too much to lighten the mood

i remember when my mom had her first recurrence
we group hugged in the dining room
me, bro, dad, mom
my original family unit

i wound up in the middle
and when it got too sad
i said, "ok i can't breathe in here"
my mom overlaughed

same room, totally different time.

tonight, they asked if we want to be there
"i hadn't really thought about it"
i lied
i know i don't want to be there

i'll be 24 when i get a stepmom
at that age, my mom's life was halfway over

so, there ya have it
everyone that has asked me
over and over again
10/10/10 in hawaii
i'm not going
they are selling both houses
and buying one together
i am welcome to live with them
but i will not

i don't want to be asked about this again
but i know i will
i don't want to hear "why didn't you tell me this?"
but i know i will.

housewives and brothers & sisters
weren't on tonight
i went with a comfort movie
after an interesting day

i hadn't seen a league of their own in a while
so i decided on that
i laughed out loud like it was the first time
"let's make like a bread truck and haul buns, ladies"
"i don't know why you get dressed at all"
"you think there are men in this country that haven't seen your bosoms?"

i remember seeing it in the theater
with my original family unit

as the racine bus pulled away
at the end of the movie
the woman in front of me
pointed and said
"look, dirt in the skirt"
(cause it's written on the back of the bus)
why do i remember that?

and when it says ira lowenstein has the job
of finding a way to keep baseball going
i remember thinking
"women, how else would they do it?"

i guess that was the first time i ever saw rosie
that just occured to me now

when we got home
bro and i only wanted to play baseball
he pretended to be jimmy dugan, the homerun king
i tried to catch the ball in my hat like madonna did

watching it now, i pick up more
the sibling relationship of dottie & kit
is so incredibly accurate
and the news coverage about them being women
and calling kit "as single as they come"
is really funny
and as a blogger pointed out a while ago
you can see rosie fall in the background
i laughed at that too, for the first time
especially because it's just after she goes
"doris murphy takes the field"

and my final thought of the night
i am so mad and sad
that pushing daisies
has been canceled
i need to start a petition or something
i don't know what to do
but i really love that show.

Rachel Writes:

2008-11-20T00:06:00.004-05:00

I have a question for you...I know you like them all so it might be hard to choose but who do you like best Rosie, Oprah or Whoopi? Or what order do you like them in the most :o)

My first user-submitted question! Thanks Rach! Okay, it's hard to just put them in an overall order of how I like each woman because there are different ways to look at the question. Meaning, I have different feelings on how I would rank them as a television host vs. in which order I would choose to meet them. I spent a while thinking about all of this. I'm gonna break it down, share my feelings and hopefully answer your question.

Rosie is my idol. I don't know exactly how to put it into words, but I think you get it from reading my blog. I taped her show everyday in 9th and 10th grade. In 9th grade I wasn't very happy. Not saying I was depressed either, but I had a tough time getting used to the high school because I don't like change and I don't like feeling like the youngest and the inexperienced. I also had trouble with my closest friends at the time because we were growing into different people with different interests. 10th grade was tough too. Actually, school wise I liked my schedule, teachers and lunch. But it was also the year of 9/11, my grandpop dying, and then my mom dying. So, I was young, confused, trying to figure myself out and fit in. This sounds so cheesy, I know, but Rosie was my friend through all of that. My escape, in a way. For an hour each day I just got to sit alone in my bedroom, relax, and watch someone I enjoy, who made me laugh, who had a quality television show with talented guests and human interest stories. Then Rosie joined The View and my loving feelings for her were rekindled. I never stopped liking her, but she wasn't in the public eye at all, so it was much more latent. I know people have varying feelings on her tenure at The View, but I really enjoyed it. I relate to her in many ways and I admire her for standing up for what is right and speaking out against what is wrong. I still think she is funny and she was very smart and articulate and I just really enjoyed her on that show. Once again, I found myself taping The View whenever I had something to do at 11am. The Rosie O'Donnell Show and The View are the only shows I've ever taped because I didn't want to miss the host. I've only ever taped Oprah because I wanted to see the guest that day. I've never taped The View while Whoopi has been on. So, as a television host I put Rosie at the top because I just feel such a connection with her that I can't miss her being on tv. And, no surprise, as person I want to meet the most Rosie is number one there too, for all the things I've said above and more reasons. I really didn't mean to make this paragraph into a huge rant, but it all just came pouring out.

Now, here is where I had trouble making a decision and had to make your question into two in order to answer it accurately. As television host, I would put Oprah at number two. But I would actually choose to meet Whoopi over Oprah. I love both of them, I really do. And don't get me wrong, they are both great on tv and I would probably cry if I met either one of them. So, let me break it down. Oprah's show is great and I watch it basically every day and she always keeps it interesting and topical and she commands it and pulls in the audience all on her own. I like how she has a great balance of health issues, newsworthy issues, women's issues, and when she does entertainment stuff it's about quality movies or tv shows or musicians, not just any celebrity trying to plug their newest project. But of course, she had to work and mold the show into this format. I really think that Whoopi is great on The View. I think she's really smart and well-spoken and very funny. She truly cracks me up. But I don't always feel the need to tune in. And I usually get bored after the segments of Hot Topics. Now, she's not the only host nor is she a producer so it's not her own show. Which was the same for Rosie on that show, but I just relate to Rosie so much that I always tuned in to see her.

However, if I were given the choice to sit down and have a conversation with either one I would choose Whoopi. I've loved Whoopi forever. I grew up watching Sister Act and Ghost over and over... and over. And when I got older I finally saw The Color Purple and loved her in that as well. (Which Oprah is also fabulous in.) So I would be interested in talking to Whoopi about the movie business and her experiences in addition to celebrity life and tv hosting etc. Also, I think she is a little more down-to-earth. Again, I love Oprah and would absolutely love to meet her and have a conversation with her, but I just feel like I would be more comfortable with Whoopi because she's just a little bit more real. I'd have a million and one questions for either one and I think they are both great on tv and that is how I feel about them.

I really didn't intend to make this post so long, but I just kept going. I hope I answered your question and you don't feel like it's a cop-out because I have so many feelings on all three women it is way too hard to just pick an overall order. I encourage everyone to continue to ask me questions if you are curious and I won't make every answer so long-winded.

Foot In Mouth

2008-11-19T23:52:00.002-05:00

Last night (or very early this morning, rather) I wrote about how Johnny Depp has the most devoted fan base. I also said that whenever he is an option in IMDb's poll of the day, he is the number one response. I said this on a day when he was not in the poll. He hadn't been for a while, actually. It's just something I've noticed before and think about from time to time. (Don't ask me why I think about it because I have no answer.) So, of course, as the world is out to spite me, Johnny Depp is an option in today's poll. The question is, Who do you think will win an Oscar first: Leonardo Dicaprio or Johnny Depp? I answered Leo because I do think he will, nothing against Johnny and his talents. Imagine my shock when the majority actually voted with me on this one. That's right. After I wrote about how devoted (ok, I suggested delusional) his fans are, I am bitch smacked by the internet and Johnny is not number one in this poll. He is only 2% behind Leo, but I felt I must be fair and post here that I now look and feel like an idiot. I bet IMDb reads my blog and did this on purpose. A lesser man would pretend this poll never took place, but I am interested in portraying the truth. I am wrong.

random thoughts

2008-11-19T02:31:00.002-05:00

I watched The Joy Luck Club tonight. I had never seen it before. I enjoyed it, very moving story. There were a lot of stories to tell though, so I'm sure the book is even more of an emotional experience. It felt like the Chinese-American equivalent to The Color Purple and I mean that as a total compliment.
Today, via email, I told my aunt that I can't take any more discussion of my dad and his fiancee. I said to leave the topic behind would greatly improve my mental health. She apologized and said she won't bring it up again. I hope she follows through on that promise. I felt bad at first because I know she thinks she's doing the right thing. But I know I did the right thing because my brother and I are the only ones whose lives this marriage will actually affect so we need to deal with it in our own ways. Currently, I need silence.
Johnny Depp has the most devoted fan base. Whenever he is an option in the IMDb poll of the day he is always the top response and is a mile ahead of whoever is number two. They even picked him to win the Oscar earlier this year when it was clearly going to Daniel Day Lewis. But I guess I did the same thing for Rosie last summer, when the daytime Emmy was obviously going to go to Ellen and I voted for the ladies of The View in different online polls. Yes, I vote in online polls. And I told you these thoughts were going to be random. Final note, when Ellen won the Emmy she said that she felt Rosie should have won this year because she brought topics to daytime that hadn't been there before. Vindication.
I think I've had trouble reading books recently because I've been trying different pieces of fiction. I read so many memoirs earlier this year, I think it's all I've come to enjoy. I like reading the story and knowing it actually happened. I'm getting a few memoirs for Christmas and I'm really excited for them.
The only item I currently have on my list to ask my dad to get me for Christmas is Sex and the City The Movie. I would feel funny asking him for it, but he's previously bought me seasons of Will & Grace for birthdays and stuff. I think about how he feels in the checkout line getting these things for me.
Today I bought Stridex wipes, but not for acne. Last week on Oprah a woman said to use it for dry feet. Rub the Stridex on your dry spots (for me, that's the whole foot) and the salicyic acid will get rid of the dead skin. Then rub in vaseline or a foot cream. I hope it works. If not, I only spent $2.50.
The children of my peers will not learn of Barack Obama in history class as just a Democrat, but the first African-American in offce and I think they will get why it's a big deal. I think about the people my age who backed McCain and how they may have to tell their kids they did not vote for the first black man in office. I wonder if that will bother their kids. I'm in no way saying that I think everyone who voted for McCain did so because of race, but in the future his race will still be an important fact. I don't know if I really articulated that correctly, but I think you get it.
Tonight I ate almost an entire bag of Lay's Baked Cheddar and Sour Cream Potato Chips. I wasn't even hungry. Compulsive eating at its finest.
Yesterday I submitted my name and info for 2 free tickets to Rosie's new show. In the comment section I wrote that I would love to see an A League of Their Own reunion. That movie is really a piece of my childhood. I was always a movie nerd, but my parents were never really into owning movies. I'm so the black sheep of this family. I watched League, Sister Act, and Mrs. Doubtfire on repeat. Today Rosie, Whoopi, and Robin have become outspoken and controversial figures and people often find it weird that I love them. I mean, come on, they are some of my childhood friends, I'm not just gonna desert them.
When I was in Boy Scouts as a kid, we did an icebreaker game. We had to go around the circle and say our name and something we like that began with the same letter as our name. I said, "My name is Brian and I like brownies." The moms all laughed, I didn't understand why. My best friend (at the time) said, "My name is Ryan and I like wrestling." Such a telling moment - I said a chocolate baked good and he said something to sound macho and spelled it wrong.

3:42 am

2008-11-18T03:42:00.003-05:00

why am i still awake?

i spent a couple hours tonight
catching up on desperate housewives
such a ridiculous show
but i still totally love it

i am excited for the new episode this sunday
but not looking forward to dinner that night
my dad and his future wife are cooking turkey dinner
because they are going to the eagles game
on thanksgiving night

are they expecting us to sit down together like a family?
is her daughter going to be there?
sounds awkward
i just want to wait until thursday for a good meal

i used to love the holiday season
more than summer even
i never understood in movies when adults want it over with
i'm starting to get it

i went to the movies on saturday
by myself for the first time
i enjoyed it
for many reasons

i saw rachel getting married
it was weird, sad, dark
liked it a lot
humanistic

sister in rehab comes home for the weekend
for her older sister's wedding
their younger brother dead for years
parents split up and now with others

i was impressed by anne hathaway
she was messed-up, trashy, confused, sad
still with an adorable face

and i didn't know debra winger is in it
she is fantastic
i want to read her book

the cinematography is shaky
hand-held camera
like a home video of the wedding
i get it

type of movie with small budget
so they focus more on the writing
than production
i like those

directed by jonathan demme
very different from his other films i love
the silence of the lambs
philadelphia

i normally write about movies in complete sentences
but i think this free-style blogging
is fitting to the movie

the movie isn't for everyone
well, i think it should be
but not everyone will get it
some unwilling to injest
actual reality

a week ago i cleaned my room
i mean really cleaned
polished all the furniture
got everything organized
it looks good, finally
after being home for 6 months

then on wednesday
barnes and noble called
"we would like to hire you, welcome aboard"
i know no details

that same day
oprah had an episode about organizing your space
and the professional cleaning guy said
"your house reflects the rest of your life"
all i had to do this whole time
was clean my room to get a job?

i hope they keep me beyond the holidays

in august i interviewed for a job
they asked if i do any internet writing
i told them about the blog to be honest
because they can find it by googling me
i feel like i didn't get the job because of the blog

i hope b&n doesn't google me

Ask Bri

2008-11-17T00:44:00.002-05:00

My favorite part of Rosie's blog is the Ask Ro section. I think asking a bunch of random questions can tell you about a person. I am not famous so I don't have a bunch of questions pouring into my blog. Or any at all, for that matter. I searched for some online surveys and came up with this one, it looks decent, hopefully it is. I encourage anyone reading this to leave a question for me in the comment section. As many as you want! If I don't want to answer it, then I won't. But I most likely will.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed
Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
no
Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Out
Im a big guy and roll around a lot
Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No
But once when I was young
I jiggled the crap out of the pole
And it fell down
Do you like to use post-it notes?
yes
Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I have a huge stack of bed bath and beyond coupons
Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bees, I guess
Do you have freckles?
Not a noticeable amount
Do you always smile for pictures?
yes
What is your biggest pet peeve?
I have too many
I hate when clocks in the same room aren’t set to the same time
Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
no
Have you ever peed in the woods?
yes
What about pooped in the woods?
Gross, no
Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
probably
Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No
That might be next on my pet peeves list
How many people have you slept with this week?
zero
What size is your bed?
Extra long twin
What is your Song of the week?
Stepping stone by duffy
Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
sure
Do you still watch cartoons?
no
Whats your least favorite movie?
I hated Rushmore
I’m not a Bill Murray fan
Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
My bank account
What do you drink with dinner?
Iced tea
What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Honey mustard
What is your favorite food?
sandwiches
What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
So many
Last person you kissed/kissed you?
sara
Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
yes
two years, I think
Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
No way
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Freshman year of college, I guess
Can you change the oil on a car?
no
Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
No
But I’ve only had my license for two weeks
Ran out of gas?
See above
Favorite kind of sandwich?
Chicken salad
Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Cereal
Dunkin donuts
What is your usual bedtime?
When I was school, around 1am
Are you lazy?
I think that word describes me best
When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
Peter pan
skeleton
What is your Chinese astrological sign?
No idea
How many languages can you speak?
Just English
Took 4 levels of Spanish in college tho
Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Yes
Entertainment weekly
Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos
Never had Lincoln logs
Are you stubborn?
Only because I’m always right
Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
I’ve always been partial to Leno
But recently letterman has grown on me
Ever watch soap operas?
no
Afraid of heights?
probably
Sing in the car?
yes
Dance in the shower?
No
Just sing
Dance in the car?
no
Ever used a gun?
No way
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Umm 12th grade
Senior portraits
Do you think musicals are cheesy?
On the whole, no
Is Christmas stressful?
It is now
Ever eat a pierogi?
Yup
Favorite type of fruit pie?
Classic apple
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Teacher
Stand-up comedian
Power ranger
Do you believe in ghosts?
Not really
Tho Ghost is one of my favorite movies
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
often
Take a vitamin daily?
No
But did as a kid
And took vitamin c often in high school
Wear slippers?
No
I use my summer sandals as slippers
My college roommates thought it was weird
Wear a bath robe?
No
But I do own one
What do you wear to bed?
Tshirt and boxers
First concert?
Actually, never been to one
Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
TARGET!
Nike or Adidas?
Nike
Cheetos Or Fritos?
both
Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts
Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
no
Ever take dance lessons?
Square dancing in gym class
Elementary school
Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
No
Can you curl your tongue?
yeah
Ever won a spelling bee?
Ugh, no
n-e-i-g-h-b-o-r-h-o-o-d
Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Not that I recall…
Own any record albums?
no
Own a record player?
no
Regularly burn incense?
No
Fire scares me
Ever been in love?
no
Who would you like to see in concert?
John mayer
Kanye west
What was the last concert you saw?
Answer somewhere above
Hot tea or cold tea?
I like both
But drink cold much more often
Tea or coffee?
tea
Sugar or snickerdoodles?
sugar
Can you swim well?
No
But I would live
Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
No
Can anyone?
Are you patient?
For things I want
But I hate waiting rooms
DJ or band, at a wedding?
dj
Ever won a contest?
no
Ever have plastic surgery?
no
Which are better black or green olives?
Don’t know
Can you knit or crochet?
no
Best room for a fireplace?
Living room
Do you want to get married?
Not anytime soon
Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
no
Do you have kids?
no
Do you want kids?
I go back and forth with this
Whats your favorite color?
blue
Do you miss anyone right now?
yes
Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX?
Never heard of it

YES WE CAN!

2008-11-04T23:59:00.001-05:00

we did it!

i am so freakin happy

words cannot express

i thought it was gonna be close

i thought we wouldn't know true results tonight

but we came together as democrats

as americans with a common dream

to see change from the embarassment of the bush years

and of course, great credit is due

not just to us

but to him

GO OBAMA!

you brought out so many new voters

you attracted unlikely supporters

both republicans and clinton voters

and you will be our president

our president

the majority will be represented

hannity, beck, coulter, o'reilly, hasselbeck

will be the voices of dissent

there is nothing more beautiful than that

and most importantly

we stopped palin from holding an important office

she would have been a disaster

a step backwards for women

global crisis averted

thank you, rosie

if it weren't for you

i don't think i would have had the courage

to walk to the polls wearing an obama button

through the town i grew up in

not worrying if people who i know

would see me and disagree

i could handle that

but not more republican policies

two republican kids handed me papers at the door

i'm not positive they were of voting age

"here's a final reminder of where the candidates stand"

mccain opposes abortion rights and supports the federal marriage amendment

sorry kids, not the way to change my mind

i'm so thrilled the bush days are winding down

i'm ecstatic the majority elected this president

a democrat

an agent of change

politically and socially

thank you, florida

for having actual coherent results

thank you, ohio & virginia

for backing a democrat

thank you, tina fey

for exposing the idiocy of palin

thank you, dave letterman

for showing mccain as bush's clone

thank you, oprah

for pulling a large female vote

thank you, voters, democracy, america

we will be restored.

november

2008-11-03T17:59:00.003-05:00

i had the scariest halloween experience ever this year
when i was in boy scouts as a child
we went on a haunted hayride in a cemetery
i cried the entire time and hid under my dad
in 12th grade i went to the bates motel
scariest haunted house i've ever done
but this year...
i took my license test

i was a nervous wreck that morning
and the whole 2 days before
being nervous makes me pee a lot
i went to the movies with my aunt on thursday
i peed 3 times while there

"how many movies did you see?" carolyn asked
just 1. peed 3 times.

we saw the secret life of bees
it was a fantastic movie
promotes sisterhood
go see it

i passed my license test
finally
at the age of 22
i can drive in the car alone
and i did just that after the test

my dad drives a large suv
which i've driven and can handle
but his fiancee's car is tiny
so i feel more comfortable in that
and it was easier to pass the test in

i drove my dad and i home from the dmv
dropped him off
and i took a page out of rosie's book
i drove to the cemetery
but this time it was not scary

i drove in my future stepmom's car
to my dead mother's grave

it was the first time i was ever there alone

when my mom was on hospice
there was always someone here
a nurse, a relative, a caregiver
i never had a moment alone with her

one time my dad had to run to the store
and asked, "bri can you stay here with mom?"
i was so excited
it would maybe just be 20 minutes
but there was nobody else in the house
all i had wanted

about a minute after my dad left
there was a knock on the door
one of my mom's friends stopping by
dropping off some groceries
i didn't want the food

the whole time she was here
i was thinking,
"please leave before my dad gets back"
she did not

i think unfortunate timing
is the story of my life
maybe i'll name my memoir that

on friday
6.5 years later
i had that alone time
not like i imagined, of course

but there i was
alone in a graveyard
on halloween
"i did it, mom. i passed."
i whispered
as i felt the sunshine

today i'm anxious again
not peeing as much
but if mccain wins tomorrow
i'll be devastated
please get out and barack the vote

we just celebrated halloween
a day devoted to ghosts and goblins
but, if i may quote norah jones,
nothing is scarier than election day.

rain delay

2008-10-27T23:59:00.003-04:00

i've never been one to care about sports
i actually have an understanding of most games
the rules, the scoring, the length, how it all works
i get it, i'm not confused, nor am i entertained

but tonight, i was rooting for the phillies
game 5 of the world series
leading 3 wins to 1
if we won tonight, we had it all

around 4:05 pm today
i was sitting on the couch
still in my pajamas with bed head
watching oprah give women makeovers

as my brother enters the front door
after a day of his physical labor job
he's been awake since before the sun rose
large grin on his face

"what's up?" i ask
"i scored a ticket to tonight's game!"
and he rushes around the house to get ready
as i watch fashionistas discuss the perfect bra

some oprahs are too womanly for me
and i didn't watch the whole episode
but still, a telling moment for sure

i went with my dad and his fiancee
to our friends' house - annie and suzanne
a lesbian couple
friends with my mom and now my dad
and watched the game there

i sat in a chair next to a low shelf
on which sat two small picture frames
in one, my informal senior portrait
the other, my mom's mass card

one photo representing my end of high school
the other representing the end of her life

the shot of me is from fall 03
i am 17 and wearing a gray shirt
a pic my mom never saw
taken after cancer took its toll on our family

the photo used for my mom's card
is from 1986, before cancer arrived in our house
in it, she's holding a couple-months-old me
but i've been airbrushed out

but here, in this gay house
one she helped them move into
mother and son next to each other
yet again

when nobody was looking
focused on tv in aggravaton over the rain delay
i snapped a shot of my mom and i
but it's rather dark and on my phone
so i don't know how to upload it to my comp

and onto the final 3 innings of game 5
hopefully they are tuesday night
and more exciting than the first 6

One year ago

2008-10-25T17:26:00.003-04:00

today, I started this blog. It was a Thursday night, senior year of college. I took time putting together a collage to put as my header and wrote my first post. I woke up Friday morning and went to class at 10am - my only class that day. Through the entire 50 minutes of class, I was thinking, "I have a blog. Am I really going to have interesting things to say? Will people care?" My original intent of this was to share my thoughts and reviews on movies, tv shows, cds, and things on the web. I did less of that than I intended and was more revealing of myself than I expected. Publishing memories to the internet I'd never shared out loud. Articulating my thoughts and feelings on subjects I'd never really discussed before. Sometimes I wish I hadn't started this blog and other times I wish I had blogged all through college. I do that a lot - have such opposing feelings on one thing. In the end, I am glad I have this blog. I don't know if I've done a good job of keeping up with it, but I intend to make some improvements. Thank you to anyone who has read even just one post, thank you to those who have left comments, and thanks to other bloggers who have shared themselves with me and rest of the blogging community.

The power went out in my neighborhood today for about two hours. It felt like much longer. My laptop battery only lasts about 20 minutes. No television. When this happened as a kid, all four of us would play board games by candles and flashlights. Today, my brother was still asleep. My dad was across the street. And I layed in my parents' bed - now just my dad's bed. I layed on my mom's side, where I went so many times in the middle of the night as a child. Even though I'm much larger now, there was so much more space in that bed. I used to be a third person getting into that bed. Today I was the only one. I looked at my mom's dresser. The layer of dust on top. The book she was reading before she died. Hoopi Shoopi Donna by Suzanne Strempek Shea. I wonder if she read the last page, like Billy Crystal suggests. A picture of she and I hanging on the mirror. A heart-framed picture of my mom and dad. And a framed one I was not prepared for - my dad and his current fiancee on the beach. Donna is her name. Two Donnas on my mom's dresser - one she left behind and one that has appeared in the time since she went. I rolled over and faced the windows, trying to get as much sunlight as this storm would allow. The brightest room in the house sometimes brings the darkest of feelings.

Updates

2008-10-23T23:46:00.003-04:00

I am adding some items to my lists on the right and here are my thoughts on them.

I've recently been enjoying the website wowowow.com. I never heard of it anywhere before and I don't even remember how I came across it. It's a blog, but more in the style of Huff Po than mine - meaning that it has multiple contributors discussing an array of current topics. This one, however, is done all by women and, most likely, intended for women, but I enjoy it as well. There are many women who make up the site including Lily Tomlin, Marlo Thomas, Candice Bergen, and... Whoopi Goldberg! (Who I love.) You may know some of the other women; some are tv personalities and journalists, but these four were the only ones I'm familiar with. Each woman has a fun little profile page on which they answer some questions and I think I may do something similar here and steal some of their ideas. (For questions, not answers.)

I'm in no way trying to claim I discovered this one, but hulu.com is great. There are countless clips from tv shows and whole episodes of some series. I (re)watched a good portion of 30 Rock season two a couple weeks ago. I watched probably six episodes all right in row. When I watched season one last year on Netflix, I would get through about 2 episodes and then my computer would get really slow and the picture would get really choppy. But, with hulu I watched six episodes in a row without a problem. This coming from someone whose computer is four years old and has a DSL hookup. So, the site somehow works wonders. Apparently movies are also available on this site, but I haven't even ventured in that direction yet. There are plenty of great SNL clips. And the season three premiere of 30 Rock, which airs October 30th, is available on hulu now, so you can guess where I'm headed as soon as I finish this post.

I wish I had some books to add, but I've been a terrible reader in the past couple months. I've started two different novels, which I still hold every intention of finishing. I've started a self-help book, which I still hold every intention of finishing. And I read two books about 9/11, one defending the official story and one defending alternative theories, but that's a whole post on its own. Regarding the books section: I'll get back to you!

A few weeks ago I added Six Feet Under to my list of tv shows, but haven't written about it. What a phenomenal show. I've never had HBO, so I didn't have the chance to watch the series while it aired. Two years ago when I worked at Hollywood Video (summer of 06), my darling friend Sara told me to rent season one of the show. I miss those free rentals, what a perk. I watched the first season and I enjoyed it, but I wasn't obsessed either. I was definitely intrigued to see more. I miss when television was structured this way. It used to be that a show grew into its prime. Friends, Will & Grace, Sex and the City (my favorites) all had decent first seasons and showed quality and potential. The networks brought the shows back and then they grew and aged into their better seasons. Now, shows have to have an amazing first season to get renewed and then their subsequent seasons pale in comparison (Desperate Housewives, Lost, Grey's Anatomy). And back to the topic: my aunt owns the entire SFU series and lent it to me in the summer. Sara and I watched seasons two through five whenever we had free time. I became more and more addicted and invested in the lives of the Fisher family. It's such a great, entertaining, unique, dark, and, at times, comic series. There are only 63 episodes, but since there are no commercials on HBO each episode is almost a full hour long, so it still takes a while to watch. The finale is so amazing and inventive. Do yourself a favor and watch this show.

I also added, but haven't written about, Brothers and Sisters. Almost a year ago I found season one on sale at Target for 30 bucks, which is a lot cheaper than the normal 50 and is about the same it would cost to rent it, so I bought it. I didn't watch it until this summer though. I watched season two on tv as it aired, so this finally answered some questions I had. I'm so glad to be caught up, it's a really good show. It makes me wish I had a bigger family, which is funny because mine is driving me nuts at the moment. Sally Field is amazing, as usual, playing matriarch Nora Walker. My favorite character and actress on the show is Sarah played by Rachel Griffiths - who also stars in SFU. I think she is a realistic, well-written strong female character. I also enjoy the political element of the show - smart, funny, balanced and even helps me to understand conservative views. I said understand, not agree with. Nora, Sarah, and Kevin (Matthew Rhys) are all liberals, while Kitty (Calista Flockhart), Tommy (Balthazar Getty), and the dad (Treat Williams) are conservative. Unfortunately for Kitty, the dad passed away and Tommy is not as big of a character, so she's often on her own. Though she is now married Republican Senator Robert McCallister (Rob Lowe), so she has some support. Anyway, it's really an entertaining and touching show about how the differences in family are trumped by love. It airs on Sunday nights on ABC at 10pm right after Housewives, tune in!

I'm really shocked I never added this: Adele's cd, 19, is phenomenally amazing. I bought it back in July and still listen to it on repeat. I'm not exaggerating. She has such a great voice and sound to her, I don't think anyone can dislike this music. Okay, maybe my brother, but his favorite song is "I smell pussy" by 50 cent and g-unit. I bought the album at Target and was lucky enough to find one that had a bonus cd for the same freakin price! I love that store. The bonus cd has 5 tracks, 4 of which are on the regular cd, but it is all live, which I enjoy. I used to not be a fan of live music, but it has really grown on me. When it's from talented artists, it's so real and great. It's honestly hard to pick favorite songs because they are all so good, but I find myself frequently clicking on Best for Last, Make You Feel My Love, and Hometown Glory. Go buy this cd. I'll burn it for you if you are tight on money. It's so so great!

It's no secret that I enjoy a good controversial celebrity. My hero is Rosie, I love Michael Moore's films, I own all of Kanye West's cds, I still listen to Lauryn Hill, I think Chris Rock is hilarious and here's another one: I love Kathy Griffin. Say what you will, but she's witty, hilarious and tells it like it is. I picked up her comedy album entitled For Your Consideration - for which she is shamelessly campaigning for a Grammy nomination, if not win. It's very funny. What I like about her is that she has a different style. She doesn't just spout off a bunch of zingers. She tells stories as if you are chatting with your best friend. But this best friend happens to be a celebrity. And the way she says things just makes then ten times funnier. I love when she retells Oprah episodes mainly because I've seen them, but don't find them that humorous upon first viewing. But when Kathy talks about them, it's amazing how observant she is and how much humor she can pull out of one interview. In this cd she covers Oprah's favorite things and the episode of the entire Osmond family - very funny stuff. [Ok side note, as I typed about Adele, her song First Love came on and now, as I typed this paragraph, Kathy's track Our New Daddy's Coming came on - weird, huh?] Get Kathy's cd, you may actually like her and not be aware of it.

And for movies, I have two documentaries to add. This may come as a surprise, but I just recently saw Bowling for Columbine for the first time. I always meant to see it, but never did. It is, without a doubt, Michael Moore's best film. It is so interesting to examine the mindset of Americans and their love of guns. I don't even mean that in a "you're crazy for liking guns" way, it just is really interesting to see how and what people think. There's so much to say about this film that I think to elaborate wouldn't do the film justice. So, if you haven't seen this movie, rent it.

I was loosely raised a Catholic. I went to CCD (still don't know what that stands for) through 7th grade and made all of my sacraments. In 2nd grade, I even did a reading at communion. Hard to believe, I know. In my house, we celebrated all of the holidays, but never went to church on Sunday. We only went for Christmas and Easter, making us Pagans or Heathens or whatever the term is. I think the last time that I attended mass (not counting funerals) was Christmas of 04. In high school, I used to say things like, The Bible is the longest fairy tale ever written. And, At a certain age your parents tell you the truth about Santa Claus, but they never tell you the truth about God. I was rather amused to hear these sentiments echoed by Bill Maher in his new movie Religulous - combining the words Religion and Ridiculous. It's a really funny, entertaining, interesting movie. Maher is absolutely not affiliated with a certain religion; he's maybe agnostic, but probably an atheist. There are times in the film when he jokes about and even mocks religious beliefs, but most of the film is discussion about religion and what people of different churches believe. It is really neat to see because you can tell he causes some people to start to think and question. And it's always entertaining to see those who are certain that their religious beliefs are correct and the way to go. I stand by my statement on the bible, but I go back and forth with my feelings on god. I certainly don't believe in the Catholic idea of what god is. For a long time I would have said that I'm an atheist. I think I've developed into an Agnostic. Maybe it's from reading Eat, Pray, Love. Maybe it's from Rosie's influence. Maybe it's from keeping this blog. I think there just may be some sort of higher power. I believe the universe causes certain things to happen for a reason. I believe my mom is watching over me. I believe in the light. "he Light" is a better description for how I feel than saying "God." For me, it's not really something to pray to, but it's something to feel comfort in. I don't think that god is in the form of a human - but if I'm wrong, I believe she is a fat, black, lesbian. I'm not kidding. Think about it.

midnight

2008-10-16T23:59:00.001-04:00

i dreamt about my blog last night
someone left me a comment saying
"the quote you used doesn't make sense"
how weird is that? why is this overtaking my brain?

i spoke to my aunt on the phone and she asked
"are you done going thru your magazines?"
i had a moment of shock and panic
"did she read my blog?!"
then i recalled speaking to her yesterday
and telling her i was doing that

no1 in my family knows i have this blog
i don't think they would get it
i feel like they wouldn't get the real me
or do i just not want them to?

i think they would talk to me about it in real life
which i don't really like, not to sound like a jerk
because i really truly appreciate anyone reading this
especially my actual friends
and the fact that you have stuff to say is great
but leave a comment or send me an email
positive or negative feedback is fine
just don't talk to me about it in real life

i don't know how to explain this
but it's actually really personal to write here
and i do want you to respond, but do it via computer

i rarely kept a journal as a kid
only wrote stuff down when i had strong emotions
one time i wrote,
"nobody in this family cares about me except for when i am sick!"
i have absolutely no idea what happened that day
to make me write that

when my mom cleaned my room one day
she found my journal and read it
and she wrote under that entry,
"Brian, I hope you don't feel this way. Everyone in this family loves you and cares about you a lot."
not verbatim, but something to that effect

i was so mad when i saw she did that
and when i think about it now
i think it would have been more uncomfortable
for her to talk to me about it face-to-face

to bring up your personal thoughts
written down in a time of wanting to express yourself
to your face and questoning you

so, think of this blog as my journal
and any thoughts about it
or responses to my posts
remain here.

i finished going thru all my issues today
ripping out some more stuff
and i saw an article or two on
Alison Bechdel author of Fun Home

it's been almost a year since i met her
wrote an article on her book and visit to wcu
and then she emailed me and told me
that i already am a writer

it was pretty neat to see pictures of her
in entertainment weekly
from when i had no idea who she was
i should add her website to my links.

it was satisfying to finish flipping thru all the issues
thru the ups and downs of desperate housewives
the occassional mention of friends and will & grace
carrie, miranda, charlotte, and samantha
great movies like little miss sunshine and the departed
and the overly entertaining experience that was
rosie o'donnell as moderator of the view

and now the bottom left cabinet
of the too-big-for-my-room entertainment center
is empty.

i only ate once today
3 tacos at 7pm
and then felt like i was going to vomit
i don't know why i'm doing this

breakfast tomorrow
as soon as i wake up
and then a walk.

and i leave you with another quote i found in my hunting:

"If you're gay, every time you have sex it's premarital sex."
-Rosie O'Donnell on The View

Pushing Daisies

2008-10-16T20:32:00.003-04:00

I'm unemployed. My room is a dusty mess. I still haven't gotten my license. I have lost no weight. In the eyes of some, I totally wasted my summer being unproductive. I offer one rebuttal argument: I watched a lot of tv on dvd. And I mean a lot. One show I was fortunate enough to catch up on is Pushing Daisies. I have become obsessed with it. It's so unique, witty, colorful, lovable, entertaining, heart-warming, intriguing. I can't say enough. It's like tuning in to see a little movie each week. A fairy tale, but not just for kids. The show's narrator is Jim Dale who does the Harry Potter books on tape. He has the perfect voice for it - comforting, familiar.

Lee Pace plays the main character, Ned, and he owns a pie shop. Oh, and he can bring the dead back to life. I tried to explain the "rules" of his power before and it sounded really confusing, so bear with me. Ned can touch a dead guy and brings him back to life. When Ned touches him a second time he is dead again, this time for good even if Ned touches him. Now, if Ned brings this dead guy back to life for more than one minute, someone else will die. The universe has to even things out - a life for a life. Does that make sense? If not, just watch the show! haha.

Emerson Cod, played by Chi McBride, is a private detective. He inadvertently finds out about Ned's gift (curse?) and recruits him as a business partner. Emerson is hired by murder victim's family members to solve the crime. Emerson and Ned go to the morgue together to "look at the body." Ned brings the murdered guy or gal back to life to ask, "who killed you?" Sometimes they know, sometimes they don't. Either way, Emerson and Ned wind up in some sort of trouble trying to solve the case. This part of the show is like family-friendly CSI/Law & Order/Criminal Minds. Interesting story that keeps you guessing, usually with a twist, but isn't gruesome.

Their additional partner-in-crime is Chuck - full name: Charlotte Charles (Anna Friel). Chuck and Ned were neighbors as children and each other's first love. They were separated when Chuck is sent to live with her aunts (the two women to the left in the picture) and didn't see one another for a long time. Chuck is murdered on a cruise ship and Ned brings her back to life to find out what happened. However, his love is rekindled and he can't touch her again. They are in love once again, but can never touch. When you watch, keep in mind that she naturally has a British accent.

Olive Snook is Ned's neighbor and co-worker who is deeply in love with him. She is played by Kristin Chenoweth. I'm sorry Jackie, but I really do love her - I think she's adorable and funny and talented. But I accept your dislike of her, like you accept mine of dogs. Olive doesn't know of Ned's powers. She does know that Chuck is the woman killed on the cruise ship, but thinks she is faking her death for some reason. Olive befriends Chuck's aunts, who are distraught over the murder, but cannot tell them the truth. She also finds out a rather whopping secret from one of the aunts that she cannot repeat to Chuck. The aunts are great too, perfectly cast.

I'm not really sure if that all made sense, but I tried my best. There's more to it, of course. Rent season one, there are only 9 episodes, so it is not tough to catch up. And there have only been 3 episodes so far this season, which I'm assuming are online. It's such a great show. Molly Shannon does a guest role near the end of season one and she was such a great fit for the tone of the show. Here are my ideas for the producers: Get Jim Carrey to guest star in an episode, he can totally do the correct type of comedy for this show and will fit the tone. Also, maybe give Matthew Broderick a shot - I'm not sure why, but I think it would work if given the right part. Also, you must get Tim Burton to direct an episode. Perhaps the season finale? He would do a great job because there is already a magical Tim Burton feel to the show and he could add a right touch of darkness. I don't think that darkness would be great for every episode, but one would be a good idea. So, I'm sure that's gonna happen because I said so. BUT, if it does, I'm expecting some sort of check in the mail, haha.

Pushing Daisies airs on ABC Wednesday nights at 8. Please tune in!

[Editing note: For some reason, there are not spaces between my paragraphs and it's really pissing me off. This needs to be fixed, blogger.com!]

10/15

2008-10-15T23:35:00.011-04:00

It's been a big day. The Phillies just won the penant and I actually knew that word before the sportscasters just used it. I so don't care about sports, but this does actually excite me. Baseball is the one sport I actually played in my lifetime. Well, tee-ball to be exact. I was in kindergarten. My dad was the coach, which must have been embarassing for him. Normally the coach's son is the talented kid. But in this case, the coach's son was me. I had a black mit with a picture of smoky the bear on it. One time at practice my dad was teaching us how to run through first base. That was it. Just run through it. You only have to touch it to be safe. He demonstrated and then told me to go first. I ran to first base. And then made a left and ran to second. I somehow missed the overly simple instrustions. That's really the only memory I have from that team. I have absolutely no idea if we won games, lost games, did someone even keep score? I really don't know, but I can certainly recall feeling embarassed in front of the entire team. Perhaps that is when I realized sports is not my thing. It sounds better to just say I pulled a Dottie Hinson - played for one year and never went back. Minus the whole war thing, being a woman, possessing athletic ability, and the coach drinking frequently. Oh wait, scratch that last one. Anyway, back to the point, Go Phillies! To show my support, here is a picture of my friends and I at a game this past May:

Tonight was the final presidential debate and I've decided that I will now be voting for Joe the Plumber because he seems to be the most important and bipartisan person in the country. McCain certainly had his daggers out tonight, which he needed to do. I wouldn't necessarily say that he won, but this was his best night of showmanship. Obama did well too, I'd say. Obama is a more eloquent speaker. McCain has more to say because he's been in the game longer. So, they both were decent. I thought Obama handled the subject of Bill Ayers well and I truly believe that McCain knows it's a crap accusation, but hopes it will scare people. Obama should have included that he was around Ayers in the time period when he was named Chicago's Person of the Year. The only time I got pissed was when they were talking about Roe v. Wade. McCain kept saying, "pro-abortion people." They don't exist, buddy. Nobody likes abortion. I don't want people to get one. I also don't want someone to give their child up for adoption. Nor do I want for them to raise a child when they are not ready to do so. This is why it's a tough decision. The problem isn't abortion, it is people getting pregnant unexpectedly. So McCain, when I see you address this issue appropriately, take proper steps, actually make a difference(i.e. reducing unexpected pregnancies), and grow a uterus, then you can start talking about stripping away a woman's right to choose.

The most time-consuming event of my day was going through the archives. I have a certain cabinet in my room where I keep all of my issues of Entertainment Weekly. It takes about three years for the cabinet to become completely full. The last time I cleared it out was summer of 05. Before that it was in the middle of high school, which was the first time. I started getting them in 7th or 8th grade. I think 7th because I remember having an EW ballot for the Oscars the year Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan. So anyway, I flip through each page of each issue. Why? Because I'm weird and anal and a pack rat who hates to throw things away. I used to go through and rip out all things Friends, but I got the end of that stuff in my 05 cleaning (the show ended in 04). I went into this one with thoughts of Desperate Housewives, the end of Will & Grace, and, of course, Rosie on The View. It gets to be a rather painstaking process, but it's nostalgic and oddly therapeutic. Flipping through all of the pop culture images of my last three years of college. Starting back when I had no major and was still living in the dorms. Then winding through declaring English, picking up minors in journalism and film, living in an apartment and then a house, graduating and moving back home. I was reminded how dedicated I was to Felicity Huffman winning the Oscar over Reese. Seeing Zac Efron look so young and turning into the hearthrob he is today on the cover sitting in front of me as I type this. And someone else that grabbed me like I didn't expect him to. Heath Ledger. There were a lot of articles about and pictures of him as I flipped from the release of Brokeback Mountain to the following Oscar ceremony. Made me feel sad. For his daughter, for us, for him. He would have been an Oscar winner one day. We could have seen so much more from him. And I really respect him for making Brokeback, I'm sure he took a lot of heat for that. When I got to the cover pictured below, I just couldn't toss it. I have no idea what I'm going to do with all the stuff I've pulled out. I kept a scrapbook for all of my Friends stuff. I've never told anyone that. And no, to those of you reading this that I actually know, you cannot see it. Perhaps a new scrapbook is on the horizon - "EW clippings from summer 05 to fall 08" will be the tentative title. I've only gotten to the fall of 06, I still have two more years to flip through tomorrow. As evidenced by my header and posts from this month, breast cancer awareness has been on my mind. I opened one issue and a small pink breast cancer ribbon fell into my lap. Spingle. Hi, mom.

I only ate twice today. And did a lot of walking on Monday and Tuesday. I'm gonna try to keep this up. I've thought about going on a diet and blogging my results. Maybe if people are reading it I'll actually stick with it? Or maybe I won't stick with and just stop updating about it? I dunno. I'm gonna think about it some more. I need to do something that will keep me with it. I need to make improvements with the blog. I gotta formulate some kind of schedule. I need to take pictures more often, get them on my computer and add them to my posts here. If you know how to get pics from your cell phone onto the computer please tell me how.

I'll leave you with this - a quote I found through my EW hunting:

"First of all, I just want to say how scared Elisabeth must be right now to have someone tell her she's not Christian enough." -Rosie O'Donnell, after guest host Shon Gables told Elisabeth Hasselbeck that Halloween is a "Devil Holiday," on The View

siblings

2008-10-14T23:51:00.003-04:00

Keeping this blog has changed me, I think
Tho I’m not sure how to word it
But I do look at things differently
Think about small moments more

Have I learned to pick up cosmic hints?
Am I digging, thinking too deep?
Sometimes it feels like a stretch
Or maybe this is just what writers do

I’m a really good speller
I’m not sure where it came from
I’m not sure why other people
Don’t know how to spell certain things

Today my brother was composing a text message
“bri, how do you spell appreciate?”
“a-p-p”
“whoa slow down, I’m writing a text”
As if I didn’t know

I’ve come to accept that being the youngest means
I will always be talked to like I don’t understand
But still, it gets to be overwhelming sometimes

“r-e-c-i-a-t-e”

I’ve been gone for 4 years
With the exception of a couple summers
And my dad is always at his fiancee’s
So I understand that to my brother
Having me back can be a nuisance
He had a bachelor pad to himself for a while
And here I am, crampin his style

Having friends over
Leaving dishes in the sink
Taking too long in the shower
Sneakers left under the coffee table
Not rinsing out my beer bottles enough
Forgetting about trash night

And I was with peers for 4 years
And I’m back in a place where
I’m interrupted during oprah
I have to hide my socks
The shampoo I buy is used by everyone
I didn’t get enough at the food store
(tho there would be no groceries without me)
I’m talked to like I’m 12
Reminded simple things
“shut the windows before turning on the ac”

When I was in high school
He and I did not get along at all
We didn’t get each other
And we still don’t, really
Such different interests, humor, opinions
But we are learning
And have come a long way

We just need to stop, relax, breathe
And, with one another’s help,
Learn to appreciate each other more

Together, we have mastered spelling it

Now we just need to hone the craft

The O

2008-10-10T18:46:00.002-04:00

oprah has had a presence in my life for a long time
longer than rosie, even
and this may come as a shock but
i used to hate her show

my mom watched her everyday
i would get home from school and want to play
but she was busy... watching oprah
i'd sit on the floor next to the couch
poking her and complaining
"this is so boring"
"is this show over yet?"

as i got older, i complained less
and i started to get it
the humanity
the awareness of women's issues
the discussion of taboo topics
the celebration of true talents

my mom
the wife, sister, daughter, friend, mother
home-maker
cancer-survivor (at the time)
was participating in her community
by watching oprah
and i joined her

the woman who i used to view as
taking time away from my mom and i
then provided some of the most beneficial time
we shared together

and still today
she helps me feel
just a little bit closer
to her.

this season oprah has been doing
fridays live in chicago
with a panel discussing the headlines

however, they are live at 9am
and still broadcast here at 4pm
so really, she is as live to me as she's ever been

and a couple weeks ago she said
"i need to figure out how to set my tivo to record the debate"
to which mark consuelos joked
"i'm sure you have people to help you with that, oprah"

i thought it was funny
sometimes truth is humorous
oprah said she really doesn't have those people

please O, yes you do
even if it wasn't from your tivo
you can request a copy of the debate

sometimes she knows her power
and others she acts like she doesn't have it
odd that

i love her
i really do
and i didn't find this annoying
just funny
interesting
odd
human, i guess

and i guess i'm being a hypocrite
because i like when an audience member will get called on stage
and she will say, "oprah. nice to meet you"
like she needs an introduction

she has lost her head in the sky
and simultaneously kept her feet on the ground
and here i am, complaining about both
everyone seems to have contradicting personality traits
me, you, oprah
we are all human

i'm not sure where i'm going with this
so i'll wrap it up with

Happy Birthday Kara!

i love you a lot
speaking of women
who have been present in my life for a long time
it says a lot that we have a picture of you and i
from the first day of kindergarten
and the last day of senior year
(not to mention still today)
you've beat out oprah
you've beat out rosie
(now you know that's a compliment)
i'd be lost without you
thanks for reading this
thanks for (finally) commenting
and thank you for being a friend
(that's supposed to be said in a sing-song voice
the last line of the golden girls theme song)

Michelle Obama

2008-10-08T22:19:00.002-04:00

i was intending to post here tonight
praising my new tv obsession
pushing daisies
which i adore and enjoyed tonight

but i was so moved
inspired
touched
by michelle obama on larry king

she is such a class act
didn't say one bad thing about the mccain campaign
even after john mc referred to her husband as
"that one"
and, the full-on monet, cindy mccain said
"barack is running the dirtiest campaign in history"

larry brought up william ayers
"yes, bill ayers"
she replied unafraid to use his informal name
"i don't know anyone involved with chicago education reform
who doesn't know bill ayers"
go michelle

she went on to talk about hillary clinton
"she's been phenomenal" she said
out campaigning, talking to michelle
giving advice about parenting while on the campaign trail

i'm not sure why
but that part really resonated with me
people give hillary a lot of crap
but i believe her
i believe in her

while she is certainly disappointed
that she is not the nominee
i truly believe she wants obama in office
i have no doubt she supports the democratic virtue

michelle and hillary
they are the faces of political sisterhood
out to defend and protect women

michelle and barack
the faces of racial equality
eracism at its best

they all make me proud to be an american
i feel inspired to make a difference
but i couldn't even get my brother to register to vote
(tho there are less thick-headed people in the nra)

michelle was so articulate
speaking of meeting her heroes
women like maya angelou
i honestly could have cried
if i were able to express emotion correctly

how great, i thought
faces and voices of the the civil rights movement
used to be discussed only on oprah
and now it is on larry king, cnn
entering our political discourse

i believe the obamas will be the first black family in the white house
but most importantly
they will be
the first family

america will be saved
restored
respected

due in large part, i believe
that barack has a woman like michelle
by his side

Coming Up Rosie

2008-10-05T18:39:00.005-04:00

I think I've had a 6th sense recently. The other night I couldn't get to sleep, so I turned on the TV at (seriously) 3am. It was tuned to CBS and on was a program I loathe - Entertainment Tonight. Barry Manilow was talking about his most recent concert and said it was a lot of fun, Rosie O'Donnell was there and he had to calm her down because she was so excited. I found it funny that the moment I turned on the TV, Rosie was mentioned. Bill O'Reilly is the devil and I, again, never watch that show. I stopped on it for a moment as a segment ended and then he turned at his desk and went right into, "Rosie O'Donnell has a new TV show premiering the night before Thanksgiving." Again, a little weird. He then said to expect a guest list of Michael Moore, Joy Behar and The Dixie Chicks. I think he meant it as an insult, but I think that show sounds awesome! I then caught ET's announcement of her new show while channel surfing. And the next day I stopped by the "No Spin Zone" (I swear I don't typically watch these shows) as Bill was talking about the new movie An American Carol and saying how it mocks Moore and Rosie. Then last night, being an insomniac again, I put on the TV and caught a scene of Rosie in Sleepless in Seattle. This was all within a span of, like, 4 days. And granted, it is not hard to find ET or O'Reilly talking about Rosie, but I just found it funny. And, to be clear, I'm in no way saying that I'm powerful nor am I taking this as a sign of some sort. I just found it funny and thought I'd share it here. I can't wait for the Variety Show, I think it'll be entertaining. And while we are on the topic, Rosie has replied to me 4 more times! These are all from around July, I've been slow in putting them up here. This brings my response total to 7! I'm making this look easy, but you fellow bloggers will know that's actually a lot. Here they are:

Her first book, Find Me, is dedicated to "Teach the Peach." I assumed it was her teacher Pat Maravel, who became her mother figure, but figured I would ask to be sure. While I was watching the Tonys, I thought Rosie should have some input because not only has she hosted the show, but she's been a champion of Broadway for years, so I asked. I saw someone ridiculous, like Ryan Seacrest, getting their star and I thought about if Ro has one or not, so I decided to ask. The last question is awesome. She replied to me with more than one word for the first time. It's like we actually spoke to each other (I know how crazy I'm sounding to some of you right now). One thing though, I have no idea what song "The Prayer" is. But, Alanis' new CD is really good, everyone go get it!

So, between my catching her being mentioned on TV and my plethora of responses, things are certainly coming up Rosie! What a cheesy pun - I couldn't resist.

VP Debate

2008-10-03T00:01:00.003-04:00

biden vs. palin

experience vs. newbie

man vs. woman

liberal vs. conservative

old vs. young

blue vs. red

father vs. mother

change vs. the same

The first, last, and only VP debate has come and gone. I thought Biden did very well, I was pleased. Even though I'm already an Obama-backer, it made me feel better about my choice. It honestly did. I do feel that the critiques of Obama are warranted - he is inexperienced and he often states ideals to accomplish, yet doesn't always give a plan of how to do so. Biden did not answer every question nor cure all concerns I carry, but he made me feel even more confident in my choice.

Palin, I must say, came out alright. I was expecting (or maybe hoping) that she would end up looking like a total fool. And while she did give a shout out to a third grade class and say, "I may not answer these questions the way the moderator or Joe Biden wants me to, because I'm speaking directly to the American people" - she wasn't ever blatantly caught off guard. Luckily she was not asked about the Bush Doctrine or what newspapers she reads. Elisabeth Hasselbeck defended her on the latter, saying she should avoid endorsing a certain publication. This dumb argument is second only to her Jeffrey Dahmer/peanut butter and jelly comparison, which I would explain here, but I still don't understand it. Listen EH (because, um, you read this), it is okay to criticize your own candidate. In fact, it's normal and fair. I've criticized Obama in this post and he didn't just speak on tv. You can say Palin didn't handle a certain question right and still vote for her. You always act like everyone else takes things to extremes, but you have the antiquated mind, my dear. Now back on topic, Palin did seem nervous at first and some of her responses were robotic and rehearsed, but she was usually on topic - though not always answering the question directly.

Both candidates spoke of ending corruption on Wall Street. I thought we tackled this issue with the arrest and incarcaration of Martha Stewart? Here's an idea, let's end the corruption in Washington DC and arrest Bush and Cheney for war crimes. Any backers? I don't totally understand all of the financial mess going on, but, for starters, let's stop borrowing money for this war, or paying celebritites exorbitant salaries, and whatever happened to campaign finance reform? I don't think these ideas would solve the problem, but there's so much money being spent on ridiculous things, let's start cutbacks somewhere.

Another thing I don't understand, maybe someone can clear this up. Larry King sat down with Ahmadinejad last week for an interview. But for Obama to say he would meet with him to exercise diplomacy is dangerous, offensive, unpatriotic? Would it be ridiculous for Obama to sit and discuss topics with Bush? After all, they are the same person. Both are religious fanatics who use their beliefs to justify terrorism to wipe out those who think differently, both condemn gay people, and both lead a country of people who feel as though they are not represented by the leader's policies. It would be dangerous for Iran to obtain a nuclear weapon. It's also a danger that we posess nuclear weapons. And what do you call over one million Iraqi deaths? Casualties of war is no longer fitting - this has been a weapon of mass destruction. I really don't understand what the big deal is if Obama wants to talk to him. But maybe I'm being naive?

Biden and Palin played it like they are the same on gay rights. They don't want to redefine marriage because of people's beliefs. Listen, gay people do not want to get married in a church nor is the issue that some priest won't recognize it as the same. Odds are, the priest is gay too and won't recognize it because he can't come to terms with his own sexuality. Here is the difference between the tickets: I actually do believe that McCain/Palin will be okay with equalizing things, like hospital visits and maybe even civil unions being strong. I do not believe that they will work for any of these rights. I believe that Obama and Biden will. I don't necessarily mean they will write gay rights legislation, but if it comes up I think they will urge the passing of it. Also, Palin used the word "choice" a few times. Maybe I'm looking into that too much, but it seems like she believes being gay is a choice and I didn't get that impression from Biden. In the end, the Pres and VP won't have much to do with this and it will be up to the states. So, on I rant...

Health care is broken in our country and it is embarassing. I am currently uncovered, so this should be a big deal to me. However, I feel as though either candidate will not really get their plans passed. It is a big deal to me, but I honestly carry little to no hope on this issue. Health care is not gonna change overnight. I think changes will be made that benefit kids and people who are really screwed, but I don't think everyone is gonna be set. Certainly not with McCain and I really don't even think so with Obama either. So, argue your plans all you want, we'll see what actually gets done.

My feelings on Biden voting for the war are the same as my feelings for Hillary Clinton. I don't like that they voted for it, but I can still support them. They were both lied to and, unfortunately, they bought it. It's definitely on my cons list, but it doesn't make me not support them either. An interesting fact is that Biden and Palin both have children enlisted. Similar situation, opposing views on what it means to support the troops. Biden wants to bring them home and Palin wants to win in Iraq. One problem with Palin's "plan" - we can't win in Iraq. There is nothing to be won. They are in the middle of a civil war and we do not live in that country, therefore, we cannot win it. So many people have died. We have already lost. My friend Liz also brought up an excellent point. Palin said that John McCain knows how to win a war. To which Liz texted me, "John McCain knows how to win a war? Is she referring to Vietnam?!" John McCain has my total respect and admiration for serving our country and I truly mean that. But he has not won us a war.

Final thoughts on Palin. It annoyed me when she kept saying that talking about Bush/Cheney was focusing too much on the past. I wonder who she thinks is presently in office? And she has said before in her church that the war in Iraq is god's will. Yet, when a Muslim says this they are called a terrorist. Interesting.

I could go on about how I don't necessarily think Palin is a step backwards for women, but I don't view it as a step forwards either. Her running mate has voted against equal pay for women. They are both opposed to a woman's right to choose. Her policies and beliefs defend the typical old, white, rich, straight, christian, republican, male. She is, in fact, a woman and if she gets into office then the republicans will boast that they got a woman in first. The thing is, you got in a woman who plays by the men's rules. She doesn't defend women. She's not a woman's woman. She is to be respected, but she believes the current men's way is correct. I could go on about this, but I said final thoughts about a paragraph ago.

go to DemocraticStuff.com and pick out the buttons that suit you

Profile

2008-10-02T15:16:00.004-04:00

I've applied to three jobs today and am now updating the blog. AND all before Oprah! Haven't been this productive in a while. Carrying on with Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I'm going to share something I wrote about my mom. Hard to believe I wrote this 4 years ago - October 2004. It had only been 2.5 years since her death, which seems unreal. My first semester at college, this was my second assignment in my Effective Writing class. My first paper was to write a memoir - I wrote about my first trip to New York with my parents when I was 14 to see The Lion King. This assignment was a profile - write about someone, anyone. People wrote about John Lennon, Salvador Dali, one crazy bitch even wrote about Jack the Ripper. I wrote about my mom and her dealing with cancer. Reading it now I see how much I have grown as a writer. I've changed only a couple spelling mistakes. If I were given this assignment now, I think the paper would come out toally different. There is so much I would do with the style and tone, but I want to leave it as is. This is how I wrote when I was 18:

Profile: My Mother

My mom was first diagnosed with cancer when she was thirty nine years old. She had discovered the lump in her breast and quickly had the doctors check it, and the tests were positive. My mom then had to inform her husband and two young children that she had been diagnosed with the fatal disease; a time when many people crumble or lose it or not be able to deliver the news because they would be too overwhelmed. Instead, my mom could not have been more positive or confident. She was the one to reassure us that everything was going to be fine and the doctors would be able to take care of her. The fact that I was so young, only seven years old, and her positive attitude made me feel as if she was only suffering from a cold or the flu; just a little rest and a visit to the doctor would make her feel better. I believe it was this wonderful attitude that kept my mom with us for the next nine years.

A mastectomy was the surgery that my mom underwent to get rid of the cancer. My mom once again informed us that she needed surgery as if everything was normal. In fact, I remember my brother and me finding it funny that my mom had to have her breast removed; of course, it was only funny at the time. We must have found it funny because we either did not know any better or we needed to smile about something in this bad situation. Everyone thought my mom was great about her disease. I remember meeting her in the lobby after school and hearing her discuss what she was going through with the other mothers; always with a confident smile on her face. They all admired her for dealing so well with her disease. The surgery was successful; the cancer was out of my mother’s body. The doctors told her that if she had no recurrences in five years she would then be considered cancer-free.

Five years, didn’t sound too bad; it would be a while, but definitely not impossible. Unfortunately, four years passed and my mom developed another lump. This time it was in her other breast. I was in fifth grade now, eleven years old, and more aware of what my mom was going through and had gone through four years ago. My mom was to have another mastectomy. Her surgery went well again. However, this time she did not have another four years of being healthy. After this first recurrence, she had many more. The cancer spread to many different places in her body throughout the following years, like to the hip, lymph nodes, pituitary gland, and eventually to the brain. There were more, but I can not recall all of them.

The many years of recurrences, chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and hospital visits had begun. I hated visiting her in the hospital; the scent, the feeling, the air; it was all very different and uncomforting. My mom always had a large smile on her face every time my brother and I walked into her hospital room. She was either happy to see us or trying to not make us upset; probably both. My mother went through a lot in the following years; she had times of being healthy and then times when she was unhealthy, going through treatments; sometimes both chemotherapy and radiation when the cancer had become too severe. No matter what she was going through or how she was feeling she was always there to reassure my dad, my brother, my aunt (her twin sister), and myself. It was tough for all of us to deal with and I know it was even tougher for her to know that she was the reason why we were upset. But she always managed to be comforting and of course as involved as possible with my brother and I.

By the time I had reached tenth grade is when my mom’s cancer had spread to her brain but this was being treated, and surprisingly quite well. However, it spread some more; to her lungs and throughout her chest. This time it had spread too much and there was nothing more that the doctors could do for her. My mom was going to be placed on hospice care. She came home from the hospital on March 7th, 2002, just two days before my sixteenth birthday. The next few months were pretty rough. How are you supposed to act when you know your mother is going to die? How was my mom supposed to act knowing that she was going to leave all of us behind? Well, I only remember her being upset just a few times within her final months. When she got home from the hospital, as she was being carried through our front door on a bed by a few men, she came in smiling at me. I did not understand how she was able to pull that off. Then, of course, the first thing she asked was how was I doing. On the morning of May 15th, 2002, less than a week after her 48th birthday and her final mother’s day, the cancer overtook my mom’s body and she passed away.

There are two things I keep stored in my memory to remind me of my mother. The first is a story of when she had her first recurrence and told her friend about it; her friend said “Well, don’t let it ruin your life” and my mom turned to her with such a confused look and said “My life? I wasn’t going to let it ruin the rest of my day.” Just this simple reaction she had sums up my mom’s personality so well. The other is something I told myself within the two months that she was on hospice; I could never be upset over someone who had made me so happy. Still today, I repeat this to myself when I begin to feel upset about her; I think of her smile, her laugh, and the fun memories we shared together. I can not be upset over what has happened, for my mom would not want it and neither do I. This is how my mother taught me to live and think by raising me with her happy, positive, and strong-willed personality.

October First

2008-10-01T13:51:00.003-04:00

I've redecorated the blog in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Oprah officially kicked it off yesterday with guests Christina Applegate, talking about her double mastectomy, and Nancy Komen Brinker, who spoke of her own diagnosis and the loss of her sister, which lead her to create The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. (Enough links in that sentence for ya?) Pay attention, become involved, get smooshed (true Rosie fans will remember that one).

And in a totally unrelated topic: In the past 24 hours I have received an e-mail from Michael Moore, The Rosie O'Donnell show season 1 dvd, an e-mail from Al Franken, and an Obama button from Move On. Could I BE any more of a liberal?

9/25

2008-09-25T13:24:00.002-04:00

I don't typically watch The View anymore. Not out of protest because I do love Whoopi, but I just think the show has become boring. Every once in a while, if I'm awake, I check in on the show. Today I turned it on to find Paris Hilton sitting in as a guest co-host for the hot topics portion. WTF?! I feel as though Rosie was steering this show in the right direction and now it has gone totally awry. People like Paris Hilton are admired by young girls, but they shouldn't be. She is dumb and talentless. That's even been said on The View before when Joy called her "stupid" and Rosie reminded us that she is famous from a sex tape. And now she is at the table to discuss hot topics? It's like a different show. Barbara Walters, while now rather old and pretty incoherent, is a woman to be respected and admired. AND today is her freakin birthday! But Paris Hilton is the headline of The View today? Makes no sense to me. This show has much potential to empower women and to highlight respectable, intelligent women, but with the EP being a male concerned with money and ratings, it's going to continue down this crappy path. This rant is so random, I know, but it just annoyed me. If you couldn't tell. I'm almost as mad as I was last summer when Larry King Live bumped Michael Moore for Paris Hilton's first out-of-prison interview. Absurd. Our culture is so misfocused, it's a shame.

And to one of the only people that will actually read this:

Happy Birthday Jackie!!

Emmy Wrap-Up

2008-09-22T12:45:00.003-04:00

Wow, that telecast was awful. One prediction I certainly got right was that the hosts would do a terrible job. I got 11 of my 19 predictions correct. Could have done worse, I guess. At times I used too much logic. Now I'm making excuses, ha. I'm so glad Tina Fey won Lead Actress in a Comedy - I only predicted against her because I thought they would spread the wealth, but I'm glad Tina swept up because she is amazing and deserves it. I don't even feel dumb about getting Lead Actor in a Drama wrong because who predicted Bryan Cranston? I like Glenn Close, so I'm fine with getting that one wrong. I can't believe she doesn't have an Oscar. I was kinda dumb with Supporting Actor in a Comedy and I like Jeremy Piven, but, again, thought they'd spread the wealth. He is the best part of Entourage though, so he deserves it. Supporting Actor in a Drama - who would have predicted Zeljko Ivanek? Seems like I need to check out the show Damages, apparently it has great acting. I'm disappointed Amy Poehler didn't win, but I do like Jean Smart and she gave a good speech. So glad that The Daily Show won Variety Series (6th year in a row, I think I read) because I like it better than The Colbert Report, which I also really like. I was kind of right because they did reward The Colbert Report with things and, again, I'm making excuses. Jeff Probst won the Reality Show Host award over my prediction of Howie Mandel, but they should all have that award and nomination revoked for their hosting job last night. Perez said the same thing I did - bring Ellen back!

Now, if I may brag - in order to boost my ego. I got Comedy Series right, so glad for 30 Rock beating The Office (sorry, Kara, love you). I also got Drama Series, I need to check out Mad Men. I'm dying to see Recount and now I think I want to see John Adams. Both winners. Both of my predictions (haha). I was so happy Alec Baldwin won Comedic Actor, he is amazing. John Adams swept up the acting categories with Giamatti, Linney and Wilkinson (as per the post below). I'm also pretty proud of myself for predicting the wins of Dianne Wiest and Eileen Atkins. Talented women, but random to the general public. The Amazing Race winning wasn't a shock, but I had pondered them spreading the wealth - glad I didn't go with that.

Ok, I feel better now. I got more right than wrong, but my wrong paragraph is longer than my right one. See, I can be a big person.

What were those stupid recreations of tv sets? They didn't look like the shows. I'm sure that Laugh-In was good in its time, but last night that skit was bad. Don Rickles was funny when winning and presenting. Kathy Griffin looked great with him and totally let him be the mean jackass. I love her and I'm so glad her show won again this year, totally deserves it. Josh Groban has an amazing voice and I'm sure he put a lot of work into that medley, but seriously ABC, the show was long enough already.

I'm just being a huge bitch now. But the show itself was bad, I'm sorry. We need better hosting and production next year. If there isn't a good host next year, I am not watching. Ok, that's a lie. But I will be mad if you don't learn from your mistakes. At least they weren't on Fox this year - stupid theater in the round and censoring. I did enjoy all of the political speeches people gave - except one guy got cut off when they had to go to commercial. If you were intentionally censoring him, I will be pissed. But I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, ABC.

I didn't do as well as I did with the Oscars, but the Emmys are tough. And that's all I got.

Emmy Predictions

2008-09-20T18:40:00.002-04:00

The Emmys are very hard to predict, but I will do my best. It's also such a different medium - once the Oscar noms come out, I can go to the theater and see the films, when the Emmy noms come out it's difficult to catch all the shows. Also, the Oscars have more bullshit, like, "This guy has never won and he deserves one" so you can predict off of that. The Emmys have less of that. I'm gonna say which shows I would vote for if I were an Emmy voter, some commentary, and then my prediction of what/who will win the category.

Outstanding Comedy Series
my vote: 30 Rock
I've only ever seen one episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, a couple of Two and a Half Men, and a few of Entourage - and none of them were from this season. I think you need to see Curb from the beginning, because I didn't get it. Men is pretty funny. Entourage is good as well, but not my favorite show. I feel like all three of them already peaked, and while they deserve to be nominated, they won't win. I love The Office, witty, silly, original - good television. I'm obsessed with 30 Rock. I quote it constantly, think about certain scenes and laugh out loud days later, tell everyone else to watch it and am in awe of the writing - great television. I think The Office has a good shot at winning, but 30 Rock has so many more nominations and it is truly the funniest show on television. So, I gotta say...

my final prediction: 30 Rock

Outstanding Drama Series
my vote: Lost
Mad Men will win - hands down. The most nominations of all series this year and becoming the most talked about. I'll have to netflix it, I hear it's great. Lost is the only nominee I watch and, while I enjoy it, it is definitely beyond its prime. Grey's Anatomy certainly passed its prime because it did not even get nominated this year - I didn't watch it at all this past season because I didn't like the one prior. I've seen House before and it's decent, but I never felt compelled to stick with it. Never seen the other nominees, but I'm sure I would like Boston Legal, but what is with the switching back and forth between enterting in the comedy and drama categories? Pick a genre, producers! And where is Brothers and Sisters?

my final prediction: Mad Men

Outstanding Made for Television Movie
I'm not gonna vote here because I haven't seen any of them. The Memory Keeper's Daughter is out because they won't award it to a Lifetime movie - just be glad you got nominated. A Raisin in the Sun won't get it either because voters may not like Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Sean Combs, whatever he is going by now. Extras - could you be more pretentious and make your series finale a movie? Get over yourself. WTF is Bernard and Doris? I love Susan Sarandon, but this movie was poorly promoted. And this leaves us with Recount. It's movies like these that leave me wishing I had the money for HBO. While it was airing, I was kicking myself. Netflix has it and it is next on my list. Emmy voters will eat this up - a story about the sham 2000 election.

my final prediction: Recount

Outstanding Miniseries
Again, I haven't seen any of them, but that won't stop me from commenting. And I just called someone else pretentious, ha. John Adams is the clear favorite here. Tin Man looks weird, The Andromeda Strain looks too made-for-TVish, and who even heard of Cranford?

my final prediction: John Adams

Lead Actor, Comedy
my vote: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
This one is between Baldwin and Steve Carell from The Office. Surprisingly, Carell has not won this category yet. Baldwin has never won an Emmy either and has had many more nominations (for things previous to Rock). Tony Shalhoub, of Monk, has been a favorite of voters before, but I don't think he'll take it. Pushing Daisies star Lee Pace should just be happy that he was nominated - I watched that show a few times and enjoyed it, but he won't win. If there is an upset, it will be Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men. Though voters may be turned off by his support of alternative 9/11 theories. Carell has a good shot, but the overwhelming support for 30 Rock leads me to say...

my final prediction: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Lead Actor, Drama
Not voting because I don't watch any of these shows. I'm a fan of Dexter star Michael C. Hall because I like Six Feet Under, but have yet to see his new series. James Spader, of Boston Legal, has already won a couple times. Nobody watches In Treatment (Gabriel Byrne) nor Breaking Bad (Bryan Cranston). The overwhelming support of Mad Men could lead to victory for Jon Hamm. But don't count out Hugh Laurie aka House. He has won a couple Golden Globes and a SAG for his role, but still no Emmy. Not only will I not count him out, I'm betting on him.

my final prediction: Hugh Laurie, House

Lead Actor, Miniseries or Movie
No vote, same reason as above. People love Ralph Fiennes, but I don't think anyone saw Bernard and Doris. Extra's Ricky Gervais is talented, but the only comedian among dramatic actors - sorry, buddy, you're outta your league here. The men of Recount, Kevin Spacey and Tom Wilkinson, will split votes. Besides, Wilkinson has something in store later. (Well, during the telecast it will come first.) Paul Giamatti is the frontrunner here, as John Adams seems to be the big HBO production of the year (think Angels in America). It doesn't look blatantly like a television movie; in terms of quality it could have been in theaters, but length is another issue. The Oscars may have dissed you in the past, but the Emmys will be good to you, my friend.

my final prediction: Paul Giamatti, John Adams

Lead Actress, Comedy
my vote: Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Talented crew of ladies nominated here - all previous Emmy winners. America Ferrera (Ugly Betty) and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine) have already won this category for these shows. I get the impression critics have felt Betty lagged this year, which doesn't look great for Ferrera's chances. Mary-Louise Parker is up for Weeds, which is a great show, but overall Emmy support has been underwhelming. Tina Fey, with whom I am obsessed, has a good shot, but I feel as though some voters see her as more of a writer and producer than an actor - in fact, Fey herself is in that category. Also, 30 Rock is getting much support elsewhere, so they may want to spread the wealth. I think Christina Applegate has a good shot as the titular character in Samantha Who? Just went public about her battle with cancer, has won in guest actress category, but never a mainstream one. I think it may be Kelly Bundy's year.

my final prediction: Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?

Lead Actress, Drama
my vote: Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
I watched Brothers & Sisters on tv this past year and just last week watched season one on dvd. Such a great show! Sally Field is amazing and I would totally vote for her. Mainly for her to give another anti-war acceptance speech. And this time it won't get censored because the Emmys are not on Fox this year. That censorship last year was bullshit and the theater in the round was total crap. Anyway, back on topic. Glenn Close is so talented, but I have never seen Damages. Mariska Hargitay is great, but the quality of SVU has dwindled. Kyra Sedgwick's accent in The Closer bothers me. And, in the words of my great friend Liz, closer is not a word. I saw one episode of Saving Grace and really liked it. I wanna see more. Holly Hunter is great and I think she's gonna beat out sentimental favorite Field this year because they'll wanna mix it up.

my final prediction: Holly Hunter, Saving Grace

Lead Actress, Miniseries or Movie
Haven't seen any of the nominees. I'm sure Phylicia Rashad is great in A Raisin in the Sun, I always loved her on The Cosby Show. Catherine Keener is a great actress and I will give anyone 10 bucks if they can even tell me what station An American Crime aired on without using google. Oscar winners Judi Dench and Susan Sarandon kick ass, but I've already shared my feelings on Cranford and Bernard and Doris. And here we are at John Adams nominee Laura Linney. She will win. She is awesome. She rocked it in The Savages and I'm sure she did no less in Adams.

my final prediction: Laura Linney, John Adams

Supporting Actor, Comedy
my vote: Rainn Wilson, The Office
I'd vote for Wilson because The Office is the only one here I watch regularly and his character, Dwight K. Schrute, is awesome. Jon Cryer is good in Two and a Half Men, and the Entourage boys are entertaining as well, but Piven has already won this category and Kevin Dillon is a random pick. There has been a lot of talk about Neil Patrick Harris and people seem to enjoy How I Met Your Mother. Paging Doogie Howser to the Emmy stage.

my final prediction: Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother

Supporting Actor, Drama
my vote: Michael Emerson, Lost
Again, my vote here is becase this is the only show I watch. And Emerson is very freaky and scary in his role - definitely a good actor. Boston Legal's Shatner has already pulled an upset in this category. Zeljko Ivanek is the weirdest name I have ever typed and I don't think people actually watch Damages, though I'm sure it's a decent show. John Slattery could have an edge because of Mad Men's popularity. I would bet that Ted Danson is liked by the voters, but I think more of them are fans of Mad Men than they are of Damages.

my final prediction: John Slattery, Mad Men

Supporting Actor, Miniseries of Movie
Haven't seen any here, but I can guarantee you that the winner will either be from Recount or John Adams. From the former, Nobody knows who Bob Balaban is and Denis Leary is liked, but out of his league here. From ther latter, David Morse and Stephen Dillane are talented men, but lack the popularity had by Tom WIlkinson. With his Oscar nom earlier this year, the love for John Adams, and double nominations in one night, Wilkinson will be rewarded in this category.

my final prediction: Tom Wilkinson, John Adams

Supporting Actress, Comedy
my vote: Amy Poehler, SNL
Kristin Chenoweth is adorable in Pushing Daisies, but it is not a vehicle for her voice, which is her best feature. Jean Smart is out due to the lack of support for Samantha Who? I guess Holland Taylor has a shot because Two and a Half Men has a lot of acting nods. Ugly Betty's Vanessa Williams may be too over-the-top for some voters. I honestly think Amy Poehler has a good shot here. Her excellent Hillary Clinton impression is second only to her phenomenally fierce Christian Siriano skit. She shined this year and I believe the voters have noticed.

my final prediction: Amy Poehler, SNL

Supporting Actress, Drama
my vote: Rachel Griffiths, Brother & Sisters
Griffiths never won for her role in Six Feet Under and I think she was great in that and is still now in the role of Sarah Walker. Candice Bergen has already won for Boston Legal. Dianne Wiest is a great actress, but nobody watches In Treatment. Neither Grey's Anatomy lady, Sandra Oh nor Chandra Wilson, has won the Emmy, despite their praise at other award ceremonies. Really tough to call, but I'm gonna predict a surprise winner of...

my final prediction: Dianne Wiest, In Treatment

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie
Haven't seen any, but here are my thoughts: Eileen Atkins is an underrated talent. I'm sure Laura Dern is good in Recount, but the movie is already taking the big prize. I've never heard of Ashley Jensen. While I'm sure A Raisin in the Sun is a qualtiy production and that Audra McDonald is good in it, I don't see voters going for it - just nominating it is enough. Alfre Woodard is great and a favorite of the voters, but Pictures of Hollis Woods isn't nominated anywhere else. Cranford is nominated other places, but with no frontrunners, so I think they will award it with something here.

my final prediction: Eileen Atkins, Cranford

Variety Series
my vote: The Daily Show
SNL is way beyond its prime. Real Time with Bill Maher is a good show, but reaches a smaller audience. Letterman has actually grown on me recently, but still won't win it. The Daily Show has won a few times before and has a good shot. But I think the voters haven take note of the similar, yet unique style of Stephen Colbert hosting The Colbert Report.

my final prediction: The Colbert Report

Reality Competition
I don't watch any of these shows anymore, but I used to tune into Project Runway and, in high school, was obsessed with American Idol. I take issue with Top Chef because you don't get to taste the food, so you don't really know who did the best cooking job. (I'm gonna take a lot of shit for that one.) I think Dancing with the Stars is dumb. Have never watched The Amazing Race, but the Emmy voters love it. If this doesn't win, they will go with something more quality like Runway, but I think Race will finish in first place.

my final prediction: The Amazing Race

Reality Show Host
Could you make a dumber category?

my final prediction: They will do a shitty job hosting the show.
Bring back Ellen!
Oh, and Howie Mandel will get the award.

Mississippi Sissy

2008-09-19T23:59:00.004-04:00

Mississippi Sissy, by Kevin Sessums, is yet another memoir I have read and enjoyed. I finished this book about 2 months ago, but I've been hesitant to write about it because I feel as though anything I write will not do it justice. It's such an amazing story. In the time since I finished it, my aunt borrowed it, read it, and enjoyed it as well.

Kevin writes of his life from early childhood until he is 19. He shares what it was like for him to be a gay boy growing up in the religious, conservative south. Both of his parents die by the time he is 9 years old - father in a car accident and mother from cancer. His mother was very loving and more willing to accept her son's behavior, which was considered to be girly; she allows Kevin to go to a neighborhood Halloween function dressed as the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz.

After his parents die, Kevin lives with his grandparents, who are not as accepting. His grandpop confiscates Kevin's collection of love letters he shared with a boy from another high school. The grandparents do other things as well in an effort to "save" their grandson. While reading it, I would think that they were such jerks. And while I still don't think that they did the right thing, they, from their own point of view, felt as though they were. They knew that being gay would be a tough lifestyle for Kevin and they probably thought they had some power to change it and, therefore, make things easier for him. Ultimately, I'm sure they always loved him, but it was just tougher for Kevin to realize that at times.

A lot of shit goes down and I don't want to ruin things. It's amazing how much Kevin remembers from his childhood. I don't think I could write as comprehensively as he and I'm only 22. Not only does he remember so much, but it almost seems effortless for Kevin to make certain moments and memories major plot points and literary elements. I can't express how well this is written and what a touching, beautiful, and even unsettling, story this is.

Kevin writes of a secret he shares with his father, racial tensions between he and the family's maid with whom he typically has a positive relationship, first sexual encounters, an important conversation he has with intellects, and a murder. I really don't want to give away too much, so I'll end with this: the part I found to be most disturbing was the molestation Kevin experienced from a priest. He felt as though the priest picked him as a victim because the priest could tell that Kevin was gay. Therefore, Kevin would be reluctant to tell on the priest because it would feel as though he were telling on himself as well and it would force him to confront his feelings of being different before he was ready. I'm sure that Kevin is right and that's so despicable.

I hate to end on a negative note like that, but the book is so great, please read it!

September 11th

2008-09-11T11:54:00.003-04:00

9/11/01
picture day
at Cheltenham High School

i went to the little theater
with my 10th grade english class
during 2nd period
for our pictures to be taken

i was 15
and that picture is the last one of me
before the world changed

in the movie in my head
the photographer is telling me to smile
and the camera flashes brightly
as the planes crash into the wtc

i proceeded to 3rd period health class
still unaware of what has occured in nyc
a fellow student says to our teacher
"can we put on the news?"

i thought to myself
"dork - why does he wanna watch the news?"
and then our principal came on the loudspeaker
and announced what had happened

i had once asked my mom where she was when JFK was shot
she told me she was in grade school
and the principal came on the loudspeaker
said what happened and told the students to pray

i realized this was our moment
the event that defines our generation
we'll never forget where we were
but this was public school - no prayers allowed

4th period was social studies
we put on the tv
and watched and discussed the whole time
and our teacher said a plane had crashed in pennsylvania
nearly everyone gasped, assuming it was in philly

"this will be in textbooks in 5 years"

we hoped to get dismissed early
which sounds so insensitive now
it was only the 4th day of school
and we wanted to recapture the summer
which was slipping away
along with our civil liberties

we got out of school normally
2:39 pm - such an odd time
i got home to my mom watching live coverage
just like the day of the oklahoma city bombing

i went up to my room
and hit rewind on my vcr
the cast of everybody loves raymond
was supposed to be on the rosie o'donnell show
i hoped it didn't get canceled
but it did
i had recorded footage of the towers smoking
i can't remember if i watched it or not

9/11/08
seven years later
the event certainly in textbooks
and forever imprinted in our memories
as 40,000 first responders
suffer with and die of respiratory ailments
no media focus on these brave souls - travesty
focus, america
remember those lost, and care for those here now

RENT

2008-09-08T00:31:00.003-04:00

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to see RENT on Broadway with my wonderful friend Kara. I hadn't been to a Broadway show, or even New York City, since 2002, so I was well overdue. Around the time the movie version of RENT I got a copy of the Original Broadway Cast recording and became obsessed with the music. I still love it.

Just a couple of hours ago, RENT closed. The show ran for 12 years and I am so glad I got to see it on stage during its original run. The cast was fabulous and it was so great to have the Broadway experience again. Below is an online article I like about the closing of the show:

'Rent' brings down the curtain on Broadway run

By MICHAEL KUCHWARA, AP Drama Writer

They cheered, they cried and gave the show a standing ovation even before the first note was sung.

Broadway said goodbye Sunday to "Rent," 12 years and 5,124 performances after it first became a rock musical with a message for theatergoers of all ages.

"Like we did when we opened, we dedicate this performance to Jonathan Larson," said actor Adam Kantor, referring to the man who wrote the show's book, music and lyrics.

Then "Rent" was off and running toward its final curtain that had the last cast as well as members of its original company together on stage at the end of the evening to sing an electric version of "Seasons of Love," one of the show's best-known songs.

"There's mixed emotions, but it's time," said Allan S. Gordon, one of its producers, talking about the closing.

The show, book was born off-Broadway in triumph and tragedy. Larson died of an aortic aneurism after its final dress rehearsal in January 1996. He was 35.

"It was the most shocking thing," Gordon recalled. "I still can't believe Jonathan is dead. All you need is one (big hit), and he had that. I don't miss what he didn't write. I feel bad that he isn't here to enjoy what he did."

Larson's tale of free-spirited artists and street people in a gritty drug- and AIDS-plagued East Village of the early 1990s touched several generations.

Rave reviews propelled "Rent" to Broadway where the musical opened the following April at the Nederlander Theatre, a house often shunned by producers because it was on the wrong side of 42nd Street.

The show, inspired by Puccini's "La Boheme," found a ready-made audience in young people. Its fanatical supporters were nicknamed "Rentheads," and many of them saw the show after the musical instituted a same-day, front-row ticket price of $20. The plan proved so popular that it was changed to a lottery format to accommodate the demand.

Yet the show's fans were more than just young theatergoers.

"It's 80 percent the traditional audience," Gordon explained. "'Rent' was not defined by age. It attracted a wide spectrum of people. People of all ages love it. That's why it survived."

Survived and thrived — winning Tonys, Obies and the Pulitzer Prize for drama as well as grossing more than $280 million during its Broadway run. Millions more were made from national tours and foreign productions that performed on six continents. A film version, using much of the original cast, was released in 2005.

All Broadway shows have a finite life, a beginning and, no matter how successful, an end. Even "Cats" closed, and, one day, so will "The Phantom of the Opera." But what made "Rent" stand out and be embraced by so many people?

"In my mind, it's simply the message," said Gwen Stewart, a member of the original cast and the performer who came back for the final performances.

"'Rent' speaks to people's hearts," Stewart said. "There is a universal truth that I think everyone can identity with: Living today to the fullest because you don't know if tomorrow will be promised to you. Live. Love. Laugh. We have all gone through loss. Not necessarily AIDS-related, but everyone loses someone at some point."

Rodney Hicks, another original cast member, agrees.

"'Rent' is about love and learning how to love — under whatever circumstance," he said. "And learning how to accept that love. And loving unconditionally. The commonality in the show is the universal language of love that everyone can relate to. That's why the show has translated so well into other languages, into other countries."

Hicks, who first met Larson in 1995 when he was 21, had a small role in the original production and says he grew up with the show. Now he is back in the musical, in a bigger part, portraying Benjamin J. Coffin the landlord, the role originated by Taye Diggs.

"I had always wanted to play Benny," he recalled. "At the time, I looked like I was 14, 15 years old. When you are 21, you don't realize how young you actually look — or are. ... Now, at 34, I'm actually old enough to play the character."

Hicks said Sunday's closing gives the Broadway production "a feeling of completeness."
But it's not the end of "Rent," according to Gordon.

Another tour starts in January for some 30 weeks with several members of the original cast. Plus a new cinecast of "Rent," filmed in High-Definition video by Sony Pictures during the musical's last performances, will be shown in movie theaters in the United States and Canada for four days (Sept. 24-25 and Sept. 27-28). Check the hot ticket for locations.

"'Rent' is recorded for history, so it's not like it's disappearing off the map," Gordon said. "Hmmm, maybe I should bring back a revival next year."

Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press.

RENT has closed, but support the arts and go see a Broadway show!

Slacker Uprising

2008-09-07T13:13:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in a while, but I am back. And with an important message. Michael Moore is releasing a new movie on 9/23/08. However, this one is coming out on the internet... FOR FREE! I just went to the website, SlackerUprising.com, and signed up to be a person who will download it.

The film is intended to get people of our age group, 18-25, out to the polls in November. In 2004, our age group was the only one that John Kerry won. We set a record that year, having the largest voting turnout of our age group ever. Moore wants to break that record this year. I believe we can do it.

If you don't like Michael Moore and have no interest in the movie, that's totally fine. BUT I hope you at least agree that voting is important and intend to do so. I think everyone should. Even if it's for someone with whom I disagree strongly, take the opportunity to have your American voice heard.

Here is the trailer for the film:

So, if you are interested, go to the website above to sign up AND pass the word on.

Without A Map

2008-07-23T03:59:00.001-04:00

Without A Map, by Meredith Hall, is a memoir written by a woman who got pregnant at 16 and was shunned from her uptight New England community because of it. Her two best friends want nothing to do with her, she gets expelled from school, and her mother sends her to live in her father's house. This all happens in the prologue. Unreal. I can't imagine getting expelled from school for being pregnant. My senior year of high school I took a health class and a few of the girls from my grade who have babies came in to talk about it. We even had a girl speak about having an abortion. Not that this was to glorify any of these decisions, but the contrast between then and now is wild.

Meredith lives a very interesting life and is a very heartfelt and honest writer. After living with her father, his fiancee and Meredith do not get along and she is forbidden to go to his house after she gives birth and leaves. This lack of relationship with her father is present throughout the memoir. Her siblings would leave on holidays after dinner to go have dessert with their father, leaving Meredith behind. She sees him only a few times in her life after her pregnancy at age 16. One specific time they plan a get-together when Meredith is grown, married, and a mother to two children (not including the son she gave up for adoption). A small part of their encounter that stuck with me was Meredith sharing that, in conversation, her father would mention some of his friends, but Meredith had no idea who they were. I don't know why, but it was a little something like this that showed just how distant they were from each other. Truly a shame.

Meredith has some unique experiences, including going to college as an adult and traveling through the Middle East literally without a map. She also writes a lot about her relationship with her mother, her death, and burying her ashes. And the part that I enjoyed the most: meeting the son she gave up for adoption 21 years ago. They develop a relationship, not just with each other, but the son with Meredith's other sons and Meredith with his adoptive parents. The reconnected mother and son learn all about each other's lives - Meredith isn't even sure of his birthday. The son she gave up grew up impoverished and abused and that's heartbreaking to read. I can't imagine the thoughts Meredith has about that, knowing she could have given him a different life.

It is truly a remarkable memoir. Something different about it is that I believe many of the chapters were originally written individually, as short stories that Meredith would submit to different writing competitions, publications, etc. They were definitely edited for the publishing of this book, because they flow together well. However, there are some stylistic differences, for example one chapter shares of Meredith's experiences and every few paragraphs she'll include a blurb of what was occuring in the world at the time (i.e. Kent State, MLK's assassination and so on). She only does this in one chapter, so I believe this had been written independently of the book. It's not in any way a negative thing, just something interesting I have never seen before. Definitely adds to that chapter, but I don't think it would work well throughout the book.

The title not only comes from the chapter in which she travels the Middle East, but she also ventured through life without a plan or map. I picture her parents having a set plan for her life when she was born and then the fact that she got pregnant at a young age through that image totally out of whack. Her parents may have had certain wishes, but Meredith definitely traveled through life without a map. And I believe she is a great person, and writer, because of it.

One last thing: one of my mom's best friends got pregnant in high school and was sent to live with her aunt and have the baby secretly and place her son up for adoption. My mom and Aunt Lisa, her twin, were not even aware that their friend was pregnant when she was sent away - that's how secretive they were about these things then. So, reading this was an interesting glimpse into something she went through and she has since met her grown son. Part of me wants to recommend this book to her, but at the same time I know it's totally not my place especially because we haven't been in too much contact since my mom's death. Lisa read the book too and really liked it as well, so maybe I'll hint to her to tell her friend about it. Leave a comment and tell me what you think I should do.

Reign Over Me

2008-07-15T02:25:00.000-04:00

Honestly, this movie was never that appealing to me. I did not think it looked bad, but I didn't think it looked great either - no real desire to see it. I wasn't sure I would trust Adam Sandler in a serious role. But then, the way to change my mind on anything, Rosie O'Donnell placed it in her "movie picks" on her blog. I decided to give the film a chance and I was pleasantly surprised.

Sandler plays a man who lost his wife and two daughters on 9/11 - they were passengers on one of the hijacked planes, which slammed into one of the towers. Sandler consequently suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and withdraws from society altering his state-of-mind severly; not remembering Don Cheadle, his college roommate and even appears paranoid when he is frightened by his in-laws' attempts to speak with him.

Don Cheadle is a dentist - Sandler once was as well - and has some ridiculous drama of a beautiful patient wanting to [Bill Clinton voice] "have sexual relations with" him. It's funny I guess, but perhaps a tad unnecessary. Anyway, Cheadle makes it his personal job to reacclimate Sandler to society and, for the first time since 9/11, Sandler lets someone in.

They develop a strong friendship, based in large part of the fact that Cheadle didn't know Sandler's family and, therefore, will not talk about them. This, apparently, is exactly what Sandler needed because he eventually opens up and talks about what happened. Sandler gives a very affecting performance in one scene - the two men are in a waiting room and Sandler, bursting with emotion, shares that he and his wife had gotten into an argument over the telephone the morning before her death, while she waited in the airport. I was impressed by Sandler's acting here.

I think one of the reasons why I enjoyed this film more than I expected is really just because Rosie liked it. Okay, totally kidding. It is the first film, or at least that I've seen, which not only takes place in post 9/11 New York, but the bulk of the storyline is based off of that. I'm not counting World Trade Center nor United 93 because those are about the actual events, rather than the societal aftermath. Certainly covers an interesting topic and is dealt with appropriately here by director Mike Binder.

This is not a remarkable film by any means, but certainly has a heart and a good message. It's worth checking out, but not if there are better options.

For The Bible Tells Me So

2008-07-01T22:30:00.003-04:00

This documentary is so powerful and moving, it's hard to put it into words. I'm usually really anal with my netflix movies - watch them and return them quickly. This movie, however, I had to hold onto and watch for a second time to truly take it all in. For The Bible Tells Me So examines the religious right in America and how it has taken, and misinterpreted, certain passages from the Bible to condemn homosexuality.

Director Daniel G. Karslake features multiple stories of Christian families which have a gay son or daughter. Some families make excellent progress in accepting their child and others just cannot break down that wall - fascinating to see.

One African-American southern Christian family is featured. The father says [paraphrasing], "I prayed for God to not make my son a fag and my daughter a slut. Well, he did it backwards." His daughter is a lesbian and comes out shortly after entering college (they never address whether or not the son was a slut haha). At first the parents basically wanted nothing to do with their daughter, Tonia. The mother then had a mini revelation and realized that her daughter was still the same girl and had the same personality she always had and that she, the mother, was too caught up in how her daughter was having sex. They mend the relationship, but the end is more disappointing when the daughter shares that she is planning a commitment ceremony and the mother still takes issue and has no interest in going - she can't accept the partner as her daughter's lover, but is supporting the happiness developed by the two women's friendship. I guess the parents did take a step in the right direction, but it's still sad for the daughter.

There are a couple more "high-profile" stories shared. Chrissie Gephardt is the lesbian daughter of Democratic Missouri House Representative Dick Gephardt. Chrissie talks about dealing with the gay issue with her father's position and how her father wanted to be public and accepting with it and, while she agreed, it was difficult for her. It was interesting because she said that she had been out to friends, family, and co-workers, but it was still intimidating to nationally come out. The family had an article about it in People Magazine and it was uplifting to see such a loving family.

Another interesting story was that of Gene Robinson. He was married to a woman for a while and then came out to her. She was supportive and they had a ceremony to release their vows, feeling as though they remained true to their promise because letting each other go was the right thing to do for their happiness. Gene went on to be elected a Reverend in the Episcopal Church in New Hampshire, making him the first openly gay man to hold such a position in a branch of Christianity. The film showed his ordainment ceremony and discussed how there was top security and Gene wore a bullet-proof vest under his robes.

My favorite story showed the journey of a man named Jake. He came out to his parents in high school and his dad shared that he was upset, thought about it constantly, and felt as though there had been a death in the family. His mom was upset as well, but didn't take it as harshly. The parents talked about the harrassment Jake put up with, like having his car windshield bashed in. His parents open their minds and come to accept their son. They even take on James Dobson, leader of Focus on the Family - an organization which preaches against both same-sex marriage and adoption - and get arrested for their cause when protesting. At the end of the film, the father says, [again, paraphrasing] "If someone gave me a wand to wave that would make Jake straight, I would have waved it at first, but now there is no way I would, this is a part of who Jake is." His family's growth and acceptance was truly beautiful.

I just said a lot of what happens, but there is more to it as well. The movie is wonderfully put together and shares such a great message. It should have at least been nominated for the Oscar. Tell both open- and closed-minded people to rent this film.

The Secret Life of Bees

2008-06-22T23:01:00.005-04:00

Two years ago, short Liz lent me The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Sometimes I suck at reading and put a book down for too many days and then can't get back into it. I felt bad for having the book for so long, so I gave Liz her book back having only read about 60 pages. "I like books with a strong female character!" Liz exclaimed, thinking I did not like the book.

Recently I borrowed the book from my aunt Lisa and finally read the entire thing and I really liked it. The story is told through the viewpoint of 14-year-old protagonist Lily Owens - one of many strong female characters. Lily's father, whom she calls T. Ray "because 'Daddy' never fit him," is mean and abusive. When Lily was about 4, her mother died of "a gun accident," for which Lily believes she is responsible. Her housekeeper/nanny, Rosaleen, is an African-American woman who has just been granted the right to vote.

Lily accompanies Rosaleen on her trip into town to register. On the way, the women are confronted by three racist white men who oppose Rosaleen's voting rights. The men give Rosaleen a hard time and she retaliates by spitting on their feet. A brawl ensues and Rosaleen and Lily are arrested. T. Ray gets Lily out of jail and then tells Lily that those men are likely to lynch Rosaleen. Rosaleen has been taken to the hospital for her injuries and Lily decides to spring her free - they don't just get away from the law and the racists, but T. Ray as well.

Lily and Rosaleen leave their hometown of Sylvan, South Carolina and travel to Tiburon, South Carolina, for Lily has evidence that her mother had once resided there. The two women embark on a beautiful and enlightening journey that changes both of their lives as they live in the house of the Boatwright sisters - a family Lily's mom once knew. Lily and Rosaleen develop strong and unique relationships with the Boatwright women, working with them on their bee farm and jaring honey.

A lot happens during their stay at the Boatwright house, including a devastating suicide, but at the heart of the story is Lily's search for her mother. She finds out a lot about her mother, unraveling the mystery and answering questions she has had. Lily feels a range of emotions with these answers, including, at one point, hatred. It is really heartbreaking and touching for both Lily and the reader.

In Lily's search for her mother, she finds more than she expected. Not just answers about who her mother was, but multiple mother figures and she realizes how truly blessed she is to have these strong female characters in her life. The last paragraph is so beautifully written, especially to me as a motherless child, I feel I owe Sue Monk Kidd a little "thank you" for her touching words. If I showed emotion, I totally would have cried.

A movie is being made, with Dakota Fanning as Lily, and it will be released in October. I think Dakota is a good pick for Lily - I'm glad she wound up doing this film and not The Lovely Bones, she just isn't Susie Salmon in my head. Queen Latifah and Jennifer Hudson are also in the movie, so it should be good, I'm looking forward to it. I'm glad there is a female director, Gina Prince-Bythewood, because I think a male could wind up losing the essence of the story (not to be a reverse sexist). There are some pictures from the film set on Sue Monk Kidd's website and writings about her experience seeing her story come to life here.

DISCLAIMER: Not being in school has seriously melted my brain. It took me two days to write this entry and it's not even long or witty. I need to get into a serious schedule of blogging. If I'm not doing it, get on my case. Not in person though, leave a comment here or send me an e-mail.

May 23rd

2008-05-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

my brother's birthday
& rosie's last day on the view

to commemorate
i'm not gonna post the big rosie v. elisabeth feud
but this is one of my favorite days of rosie on the view
this is why i miss her - smart, passionate, and brave
watch and enjoy:

6 years

2008-05-15T23:59:00.001-04:00

may 15th
is a date to me
like september 11th
a defining date
on which my world view
entirely changed.

i was awoken early in the morning
i struggle to remember what time
before 6:30am tho
my dad entered my room
as the light from the hallway spilled in

i sat up in bed
and he sat down on it
"mommy passed away about 15 minutes ago"
he said as he began to cry
or continued to, i should say

the rest of that day is kind of a blur to me
but i do remember my dad speaking on the phone with a therapist
she, the therapist, wanted me to come in and see her that day
no way
talking about it would make it too real

i didn't go to a therapist that day
or any day after
this is it - my therapy
i've decided to blog it

why? i'm really not sure
face-to-computer, rather than face-to-face
seems easier
and inexplicably, more private and intimate
which makes absolutely no sense
but it's how i feel

it has been 6 years since
may 15th 2002
the day my life changed
the day people began to look at me and think
"his mom died"

a stigma i'll never get past
or over.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T23:46:00.002-04:00

as a child i had major attachment issues
i hated to leave my mom
i couldn't do it

i used to fake sick at school to get sent home
if i stayed at school i wouldn't eat lunch
it got to the point that i had to meet with the guidance counselor
but i wouldn't eat lunch there either - just cry

i didn't know what was wrong with me
and i still kind of don't
i was just a huge mama's boy
i guess i still am one - just without a mother

i used to hate when my brother and i would have to sleep at a relative's house
cause my parents were gonna be gone for the night
i would pretend to be okay with it
and then cry as soon as my mom left

one time we were staying at my uncle al's and aunt jackie's
i was taking mary poppins with me for us to watch
my mom said "think of me when they laugh and float to the ceiling"
and i did.

today my uncle al called to say happy graduation
and ask how the ceremony was
when we got off the phone i put the tv on
scrolling through the dish network menu
i saw mary poppins was on abc family
i selected it
and it was right in the middle of the laughing scene

"i know a man with a wooden leg named smith
oh yeah, what was the name of his other leg?"

a little hello from my mother
on this day made to celebrate her

it's been three days in a row
with her absence overly noticeable
may 9th - her birthday
may 10th - my college graduation
may 11th - mother's day
an interesting weekend
to say the least

in the next few weeks
my attachment issues will be tested
as i say goodbye to my college friends and life
another chapter of my life ending

knowing my mother will guide me through the next one.

54

2008-05-09T20:54:00.003-04:00

today my mom would turn 54
i'm gonna avoid an emo post
by recognizing today with a video

this is from when Rosie was on The View
and is fitting to today

okay, i just realized the sound is a little off from the visuals, but still a great interview and one of the reasons why i loved Rosie on this show - she made it interesting, topical, and touching.

Lebanese

2008-05-05T04:40:00.001-04:00

came across this on youtube
had to post it here
two people i love, respect, and admire
enjoy!

College Republican Convention

2008-05-03T01:41:00.002-04:00

Came across this video on Huffington Post (linked on the right). Some interesting quotes in here especially the man speaking on abortion and saying we could solve our immigration problems if abortion were illegal. The narrator has a creepy voice especially at the beginning. The video is from this past summer so don't be confused when he says the troop death count is three thousand something. It is over four thousand now. Watch and leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Generation Chickenhawk: The Unauthorized College Republican Convention Tour from huffpost on Vimeo.

May First

2008-05-01T23:20:00.004-04:00

it has been five years since Bush proclaimed
"Operation Iraqi Freedom: Mission Accomplished"
and here we are with 52 dead troops in April
the highest death toll in 7 months

mission accomplished?
makes no sense to me

the highest death toll ever was November 04
137 dead Americans
i was looking forward to my first Thanksgiving break
seeing my high school friends for the first time since summer
thinking not at all about the war
while plenty of my peers were wishing to be home
with their families for the holiday
thinking of nothing but the war zone they presently called home

in these past five years, since mission accomplished 5/1/03
i completed my senior year of high school
and am one week away from graduating college

the main reason people enlist in the army
is for the education
i got to live the dream of those braver than i
because i was fortunate enough to be born into a family
that could financially make it work

yesterday was my last day of class as an undergrad
at my graduation party in June 04
countless adults said to me
"my advice for college is to just go to class"

mission accomplished.

Pennsylvania Primary

2008-04-22T03:37:00.001-04:00

I'll start off with this: I love Obama. I think he gives great, inspiring speeches. I think he is intelligent and I think he has gotten a lot of people, especially young ones, excited about and interested in politics and voting and that's amazing. I think that he will get the Democratic nomination and I will support him and vote for him in November. I think he has a great voting record and I'm glad he opposed the war in Iraq from the beginning. He has a history of bringing people together and that is really something we need right now. Part of me is hoping he takes Pennsylvania and secures the nomination so that our party has time to come together before the general election. I still have torn feelings and reasons why I would vote for Obama, above being some of them.

However, I voted for Hillary Clinton and here's why: She has been working for Universal Health Care for a long time and wrote her plans and ideas a while ago. Obama's Health Care plan was formed more recently and by his staffers when he decided to run for President. I'm not saying I oppose his ideas or don't think they will work, I just feel that Clinton is much more dedicated to her plan and may execute it more effectively. Also, I believe her's is more universal, where he may still leave some people uncovered, but correct me if I'm wrong.

No Child Left Behind is a deceitfully-titled plan that makes one sound as if they are a traitor for opposing it - like The War on Terror and The Patriot Act. Bush and his people come up with some good titles, I must say. NCLB lays out an awful system, for intelligence and learning is not measured accurately by standardized testing. Clinton wants to repeal the Act, where Obama just wants to reform it. Repealing, to me, sounds as if there will be different types of student and teacher assessment being done. A reformation, to me, sounds like altered ideas, which, in the long run, may end up being too similar to the current. Therefore, I agree more with Clinton here.

In the end, Clinton and Obama are the same on gay rights. Both candidates support a strong civil union, allowing all the same rights to same-sex couples as afforded to heterosexual couples. Okay, a step in the right direction, a little bit like the "separate but equal" phase, but I'll take it, because clearly civil rights have to come in steps, based on history. I felt more compassion from Clinton when this topic has been brought up - she spoke on it much more eloquently. She is also the only First Lady to march in a Gay Pride Parade, which is awesome. It also bothered me when Obama was here in West Chester and said, "Young people are ahead of the curve on this issue." I see what he's saying, but I don't think there is really a curve to get around when it comes to denying vs. affording people basic human rights. Especially when you are a racial minority, seeing the light on this issue and doing the right thing should be easier. And now I'm being a total hypocrite because Clinton is a gender minority and they have the same stance, but, as I said, Clinton spoke with more reverence than Obama.

Perhaps the issue closest to my heart is the focus on cancer research. Hillary spoke very passionately on increasing the funding for breast cancer research and finding a cure within ten years. Will a cure actually happen? I have no idea, but we have to try. Breast cancer needs to be declared an epidemic, in order for its research to receive federal funding. Also, uteran cancer is a huge problem because it is only detected through a vaginal sonogram, which majority of health insurance plans do not cover. I trust Hillary, as a woman, to address and solve these problems. I have not heard Obama address women's health issues like these at all. I do realize that I am a man, but I lost my mother to cancer. I don't want other children to go through what I did and I belive that Hillary will be the better candidate to prevent that from happening.

The War in Iraq. Clinton voted for it. Obama opposed it from the beginning. You would think I'd be sold to Obama on this issue and I admire him for speaking, at the time, unpopular speech. It's not necessarily that I'm sold to Clinton here either. But, I do think she has addressed it appropriately. She said that she voted in favor of allowing Bush to use force in Iraq if necessary and that he did not exhaust all the possibilities before going to war. Also, she is the only Senator to go to the current administration and ask, "What is your plan for bringing our men and women home?" To which they replied, "We don't have to tell you." To which Hillary countered, "Yes you do." So, I admire her for doing that. And maybe this will sound like I'm making excuses, but I do believe that she got caught up in the terroristic propoganda (I'm intending a double meaning there) and thought that invading Iraq was the right thing to do. We were led to believe that Iraq had something to do with 9/11, when they did not. We were told that Iraq had nuclear weapons, which they did not. Maybe Hillary knew the truth and still voted in favor of the war, I have no idea. And while it is regrettable that she voted the way she did, I don't hold it against her as harshly as one would expect. Also, what has bothered me about Obama is that he reminds people, "I am the senator that did not vote for the war in Iraq." Yeah, because you weren't a senator then. And he probably would have voted against it, but it still just annoyed me. They both support a phased withdrawal from Iraq - so, I support both candidates' plans.

In the end, I support a unified ticket of Clinton/Obama - or vice versa. However, while Hillary may have a bigger ego than Obama, I don't really think she can win without him. Obama, on the other hand, could probably get all the way to the White House with someone else as Vice President. Therefore, I feel like we have a better shot at unity with Clinton as President, as long as she sets aside ego and does what needs to be done for the better of the country. Will she do that? I really don't know, but I hope so.

Obama is less polarizing than Clinton. So, I guess he does have more electability than she. He also did less smack-talking during these campaigns, which is important to me. Like I said, I have reasons to vote for Obama too, but I tried to put that kind of stuff aside and vote based on the issues. Maybe that was naive, maybe that was the smart thing to do - I don't know. I felt like voting based off public persona was too much like playing the game of politics and that crap needs to end.

So, that is why I voted for Hillary Clinton and still support Barack Obama as well. Please comment with happiness, anger, rebuttals to anything I said above. Just pick a fight with me, damn it!

Lars and the Real Girl

2008-04-13T23:19:00.002-04:00

I finally got to see Lars and the Real Girl, out on dvd Tuesday, directed by Craig Gillespie. I really enjoyed it a lot, Ryan Gosling is great. He plays Lars, a man with some sort of mental illness that leads him to date and love a blow-up sex doll he purchases on the internet. He explains to his brother and sister-in-law that she is paralyzed and speaks minimal English.

His bro and sis-in-law are really loving and understanding and play along with the facade that this blow-up doll is human. They even bathe her. They do, of course, get him into counseling. His counselor is played by Patricia Clarkson, a great actress. The counselor has separate meetings with Lars and the doll.

The doll is incorporated into the small-town community as a real person, she even reads to kids at the elementary school. At one point, Lars takes the doll to a party with his co-workers, some are supportive, others are confused - very interesting scene. Lars eventually becomes romantically interested in another woman, from work and his decision on what to do with the doll is emotional.

The movie is really wonderfully written, I feel like I can't say that much about it because it would ruin what happens. Also, the movie does not have a lot of huge happenings to share, it is very humanistic and makes you realize the little things you would have to do if accomidating to a blow-up doll (or an actual paralyzed person). The screenwriter is Nancy Oliver, who was nominated for the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for this film (the prize went to Diablo Cody for Juno). This is her first movie script, which is really impressive. She has previously written for the HBO series Six Feet Under, which I really need to get caught up on, since I have only seen season one. I'm looking forward to her future work.

Go rent it when it comes out Tuesday! You will not be disappointed.

Hardball

2008-04-02T23:58:00.000-04:00

an episode of Hardball with Chris Matthews
was taped on campus tonight
with special guest Senator Barack Obama

as rachel and i waited in line
we saw the Hillary supporters
with their signs
makes me sad - such a division within our own party

Unite, People!

favoring one over the other is fine
but when it turns into hating the "opposition"
it gets scary.

one student asked Obama about his stance on gay marriage
"I do not support gay marriage," he began
i wanted to boo, but held it back
he went on to explain his views,
that he supports civil unions with similar benefits

"Isn't that still discrimination to deny certain people marriage?"
Chris Matthews replied, with the exact thought in my head
i wanted to cheer and applaud, but held it back
Obama said, "Young people are ahead of the curve on this issue"
a fellow student screamed, "LGBTQA!"
i wish i could be that bold
i wouldn't have even had the guts to ask the question

i liked what Obama had to say on all the other issues
and his stance on gay marriage is the same as Clinton
and here i am still stuck between the two.

afterwards, rachel and i walked past the Ron Paul supporters,
Repent America and their children with signs:
"I am a joy not a punishment"
you are also not being given the right to think freely

we waited by the driveway behind the gym
to catch a glimpse of the possible future president
"Obama for your mama!" yelled one girl
we laughed as we stood next to an older woman with a sign:
"A pregnant woman needs support. Not abortion."

Rachel looked at her sign and visibly disagreed
the woman said "did you get to read it?" and shoved her sign nearer
"yup" we replied
"it's a good message" she said
"no" as we shook our heads

"it's murder"
"it's not murder"
"yes it is murder. there is a heart beat after 3 weeks"
said patronizingly, as if i know nothing on the issue
"oh really?" i said sarcastically

she thought she had me
but then i said i already knew that
"i hope you realize that your choice is murder"
there were many things i wanted to say
many things i wish i had said

"it's not my place to decide for other people"
"if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament"
"why do you want to criminalize women and their doctors?"
"making abortion illegal will not stop it from happening,
it will only lead to coat hangers and back alleys"
"do you support the war and still consider yourself pro-life?"

or that i even agree with part of her sign
pregnant women should get support
no matter what their decision
i will be there to support my friends

instead i said "ok"
(not in an agreeing tone, more like "you're crazy, go away")
those two little letters
as my stomach felt on fire and my heart beat fast in fury
you can say i took the high road
but i think i pussied out.

all my pictures from the event are far away and blurry
and i need to find the cord to put my pics on my comp
no idea what happened to it

April

2008-04-01T23:50:00.003-04:00

i'm in the mood to write a post
with nothing real to say...

April has sprung
warm weather came with it
my mood elevated already

and then quickly freaked out
by the forum i attended, entitled:
"What Can You Do With An English Degree?"

i'm about to have one
-next month actually-
and i still have no idea
what i really want to do

i'm a senior in college
but feel like
i'm still one in high school.

there were three panelists
all wcu grads with an ENG degree
exactly what i will have

they spoke of their journeys,
both pre and post wcu.

the only male on the panel
a puerto rican lawyer
very proud of his heritage, as he should be
and very proud of his career, as he should be

he was a great speaker
talked about his first day of linguistics with dr. godfrey
an exact day i lived thru just over 2 years ago
which scared the crap outta me, i hated that class
and i think this lawyer did too

he originally came to wcu on a sports scholarship
he was here to play and party, not read
he got injured and left school

then his mother was sick and needed a lawyer
so he decided he would become one.
went back to wcu and finished
went onto widener law and finished
very inspiring, tho i would never want to be a lawyer.

one woman was in sales
again, not so interested
but i liked what she had to say

the other woman was a
production designer of a magazine
now that sounds awesome

except that her magazine is
The Guide to Retirement Living.

i want to write for Entertainment Weekly
but am i naive to think that could happen?
i guess we shall see.

tomorrow i get to see Obama
after waiting in line for over 2 hours
to get a ticket

my absentee ballot arrived in the mail
i'm so torn.
i always kinda leaned towards hillary
but now i really don't know.
maybe Obama will sway me tomorrow,
altho Chelsea Clinton was a great speaker last week-
backed her mom up very well
love her thoughts on education and health care

love Obama's energy
and i feel like the system hasn't made him corrupt
not yet, at least.
gotta love democracy tho!

no matter how things go
on 1.20.09
we can only improve from here.

i guess i did have some real things to say
i just wanted to avoid making this blog
into a diary or journal
less about feelings, more about topics and reviews
but, nonetheless, here are my current feelings:
i am terrified to graduate
and i'm still undecided on the primary election.

Rosie Replies

2008-03-21T15:20:00.001-04:00

Anybody that knows me, knows that I love Rosie O'Donnell. My roommates make fun of me, most of my friends think I'm crazy/annoying, some argue with me, and Jackie thinks I'm totally normal (a true friend, haha). I used to tape The Rosie O'Donnell Show everyday and watch it when I got home from school. I once wrote Rosie a fan letter in 8th grade, but never sent it. I tried to find it when I was home for spring break to put it up on the blog, but no luck. I remember writing that I felt connected to her because she lost her mother to cancer at a young age and my mother was currently dealing with cancer. I appreciated her attention to the topic and her heartfelt rememberances of her mother. In May of 2002, the end of 10th grade, my mom died and then The Rosie Show ended exactly one week later. Two Wednesdays in a row, I said goodbye to a source of light and comfort. Today, I am an avid reader of Rosie's blog and often submit questions and comments to her Ask Ro section. She gets over 1,000 submissions a day and replies to only a handful. So, for her to reply to you is a big deal. We're talking huge effing deal! (haha). The first time she replied to me, I got butterflies in my stomach - I couldn't believe it. She said just one word - seven letters - and I felt like I had won the lottery (or something of big importance to a normal person). It had felt almost hopeless to still submit to her, but I didn't give up. This woman who I've spent much time admiring, enjoying, and defending has acknowledged that I exist. She has replied to me two more times since the first. And since today is Rosie's 46th Birthday, there is no better time to share Rosie's replies with my few readers.

I was surfing around IMDb one day and realized that Rosie had been nominated for an Emmy in the same category as three of her idols. I immediately had to ask her about it and I'm glad I did. I asked her about The Little Mermaid after my friend Nikki had gone to see it. Knowing that Rosie is a huge fan of Broadway, I relaized that she hadn't mentioned anything about it on the blog, so I asked. She replied just after going to the official opening night of the show. The next day she posted about going to see it - loved it, especially Sherie Rene Scott as Ursula - and put up a video she made from the night with her handheld flip camera. So, it was pretty cool that she used my question to preempt one of her posts. The third question is totally random, I know. Dana Delany is the new actress on Desperate Housewives this season. She plays a bitch so well, I had to ask Ro about it. They worked together in Exit to Eden and Wide Awake. Thanks for replying to me, Ro! You've made my day three separate times. Happy 46th Birthday!

And to prove I'm not the only crazy Rosie fan who gets ecstatic upon a response, here is an excerpt from an online convo of me and Jackie.

5 years

2008-03-19T23:13:00.003-04:00

it has been 5 years since the USA unjustly invaded Iraq
nearly 4,000 dead Americans
(thats 1,000 more than we lost on 9/11)

this video is from Rosie.com
thanks for it, Ro
you are truth and light
during this time of distraction

2003 Resolutions

2008-03-18T23:09:00.003-04:00

December 31st, 2002. Junior year of high school. Nikki, Bridget, Rosie and I spent New Year's Eve in New Jersey, babysitting Nikki's little cousins. I so wish we had digital cameras back then because I want to put up one of our heinous pictures from that night.

Anyway, we decided to make new year's resolutions. Ro wrote them down on a piece of paper and gave it to me to keep because I'm the responsible (read: anal) one. When I was home for spring break last week, I was going through random stuff in my room and found that lovely piece of paper. Here they are, let's see how we've done:

Bridget - get over Matt, do better in school, get over everything that sux

Nikki - look for better things in life

Brian - make myself a happier person

Rosie - stop being a pigheaded bitch, start loving life more, stop falling for assholes

All - meet that significant other!

Sounds like we were dorks and some rather depressed 16 year olds - we def had real problems. More than 5 years later, I don't know if Ro has improved on her first one...

look me in the eye

2008-03-15T14:13:00.005-04:00

I finally finished Look Me in the Eye, by John Elder Robison. I started it over winter break and then I sucked at reading habitually when I went back to school. But I finished it now, over spring break. I enjoyed it, it was very interesting. I never really felt enthralled, but I did like reading it, I feel a little more enlightened.

Robison has Asperger's Syndrome (sounds like ass burgers), which is acute autism. He would be at one end of the autism spectrum, and people who are non-verbal autistic would be at the other, more severe, end. Asperger's has only been acknowledged within the past ten years, but, of course, it has been around forever. Therefore, Robison grew up without a diagnosis.

Basically, Robison did not understand regular social cues that most people pick up on. His mind tends to follow very strict rules. When he was a young child, his parents got a dog and taught Robison that if he wants to be friends with the dog, he needs to pet it on the head. The following year when he went to school for the first time, he wanted to make friends with a girl playing in the sandbox. So, he went over to her and began to pet her on the head.

Robison tells stories like that, using humor to describe his syndrome. He also talks about how he excelled with machinery and working with his hands, but socializing was such a problem for him. Some of the parts when he talked about stuff like welding kinda lost my interest. I did, however, find it interesting when he wrote about how he had to name people and things himself. He referred to his wife as Little Bear and their son as Bear Cub, and then simply Cubby. These weren't just nicknames, this is what he identified them as. It sounds very weird, I'm sure, but when you read the book, it puts you inside his head and it makes sense... sort of, haha.

His brother, whom he called Varmint, is Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors. Augusten, born Chris Robison, changed his name when he turned 18 because he hated his parents. Robison makes reference to Augusten's book only a few times, so you can totally understand Look Me in the Eye without reading Scissors, but it made me want to read it. I saw the movie, but I'm sure the book is better. Augusten also writes a nice foreword to Look.

Robison also chronicles his time touring with KISS, living in a house with band members, and pulling a crazy prank as a teenager - which I won't ruin. Also, the title of the book comes from the fact that he was told repeatedly as a child, "Look me in the eye, young man." However, an aspergian trait is that he has trouble making eye contact with people.

I definitely recommend this book, but you have to have some interest in the topic. It is funny and enlightening, but you'll probably find yourself a little bored if you're not interested in learning about Asperger's.

Top of '07

2008-03-11T01:32:00.002-04:00

Since countless people read this blog, I need to clear up the national confusion. When doing my oscar predictions/picks, I said that I would have voted Juno for best picture. However, I've also said on this blog that I liked that film, but didn't totally love it. I would have picked Juno out of the 5 nominees. So, here are my top 5 films of 2007, the ones I enjoyed watching the most, in no particular order:

1. The Savages
2. La Vie en Rose
3. The Great Debaters
4. The Kite Runner
5. Sicko

I didn't leave any of these films feeling that I needed to watch them again to totally get them or to decide exactly how I feel about them.

Honorable Mention: In the Valley of Elah, Sweeney Todd, Hairspray, and then all 5 best pic nominees.

There are a few more I need to see that I think have a shot at being listed somewhere above
and they are:
-Into the Wild
-Lars and the Real Girl
-The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
-Charlie Wilson's War
-I'm Not There.
I will definitely blog about these movies when I get the chance to see them.

22

2008-03-09T23:59:00.001-04:00

here i sit
on the living room couch
trying to find some good words
to sum up the big two-two

truth is
i don't know
what i'm feeling.
robbed, maybe?

robbed of an hour
robbed of my mother
her presence/presents

oh, and i saw my dad
for maybe ten minutes.

the two people who used to
make this day so special
*poof*
-gone-

why do i keep focusing on the bad?
a lot of quality time with lisa
dinner with her & bob
more hours of sunshine
em, linds, meg, & mads came over
i had half hour phone convos
with bridge and jonah each
and i still feel sad.

there is a picture
hanging in my room
of me, my mom, & my dad
3/9/01
all smiles

no idea that
3/6/02
i would be told:
"there is nothing more the doctors can do"

on 3/9/02, my 16th
i leaned over the metal bar
of the hospice bed,
fighting back tears:
"i can't believe this is the last birthday i get to spend with my mom"
"no, you can't think like that," she replied

even with a death sentence
she kept her positive attitude,
emitting light
in the darkest time of my life.

yet, here i am today
sitting on the couch
struggling to feel content

even with all the positivity
i encountered today.

and now that kanye west's
"hey mama"
has started playing on my comp
i will focus on the good aspects of today

i had a very good birthday
and thanks to those
who called/texted/wall signed

spreading your light
on a day when i have trouble
seeing mine.

I Love SNL

2008-03-02T19:06:00.001-05:00

See The Light

2008-03-01T17:13:00.005-05:00

I'd say I did pretty well with my Oscar predictions. The first one of the night was costume design and I got that wrong. I thought it was a bad omen. But I got picture, director, all 4 acting categories, both screenplays, animated feature, cinematography, art direction, makeup, score and song. The Bourne Ultimatum really surprised me and picked up a few categories. I didn't think the academy would really reward it, but they did nominate it in a few categories, so I should have known better. I also got documentary feature wrong, which at first I was pissed about, but now I want to see the winner - Taxi to the Dark Side. So, it's all good.

I thought that Jon Stewart was funny. But overall, the show was kinda boring. Not bad, but I'm usually more entertained/amused. It was lacking in funny presenters and touching acceptance speeches.

I really have no point to this post, but it's been a week and I don't wanna get too out of the rhythm of writing.

Something interesting though. In my film class on Wednesday night, we were talking about documentaries. My professor was saying little tricks filmmakers use to misrepresent what people are saying and how to use facts to their advantage. And then he shared this way crazy fact: After 9/11, we were shown images on the news in which people of the Middle East were celebrating the attacks. However, the footage we were shown was already more than 10 years old. I forget what exactly his words were, but it was from a bombing on Tel Aviv - which yes, is still an attack - but it had to do with their whole clashing of religions. And nothing to do with 9/11. So anyway, I feel compelled to share this video - for many reasons.

What We Call the News

So I know my point above and this video aren't exactly the same thing. But things are so misfocused, it's scary. Hope it made you laugh though.

Oscar Predictions

2008-02-23T21:00:00.003-05:00

Well, here we go. This is the first time I'm ever writing down my Oscar predictions for the public to see. Usually I just fill out my own ballot and brag about the ones I get right. So, judge me on the categories I get wrong. I think I can take it...

My personal bible (sorry, grandmom) is Entertainment Weekly. So, I'm gonna include who they pick to win, who I would personally vote for, some commentary, and what my final prediction is.

Best Picture
ew's pick: No Country for Old Men
my vote: Juno
I seriously just had the hardest time picking which film I would vote for. I liked all of the nominees, but I can't really say that I loved any of them - that's what made it hard. My deciding factor was this: I left all of the other films thinking, "I liked that, but I need to see it again to decide exactly what I think of it and how I feel about it." Juno, on the other hand, I left happy, entertained, amused, and knowing that I enjoyed it and got it. I could have gone to high school with those kids. This film also has the most rewatchability (I think I may have just coined a new word). EW predicts that if No Country doesn't take it, then it will be Michael Clayton. I disagree, I think the race is between No Country and There Will Be Blood - I guess because they both have 8 noms. I don't think Atonement has a shot because director Joe Wright wasn't nominated. Juno's strength is its screenplay and it will be rewarded there, not here. I guess Michael Clayton does have a shot, but I think this is the Coen brothers' year.

my final prediction: No Country for Old Men

Best Director
ew's pick: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
my vote: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
I decided I would vote for a Picture/Director mismatch. Like I said, Juno's strength is the writing (which, to me, is the most integral part of a film). No Country has very intelligent direction. The Coen brothers are bizarre, yes, but they are visionaries. I really like Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood), but moreso for his previous films Boogie Nights and Magnolia. I think Anderson is young enough that he will be back in this category a few times and win at least once. The only film in this category that I haven't seen is Julian Schnabel's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It looks great and EW has placed Schnabel in second place for this category. However, no director has ever won without his film being nominated for best picture.

my final prediction: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Best Actor in a Leading Role
ew's pick: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
my vote: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Daniel Day-Lewis is brilliant in There Will Be Blood. He is a fabulous actor and has won the Oscar before, but it's been 18 years, so it won't feel like a repeat. George Clooney was great in Michael Clayton, but he just won an Oscar two years ago. Johnny Depp was impressive in Sweeney Todd, but I think the Academy is waiting to reward him for something truly spectacular. His year will come, but it's not this one. Tommy Lee Jones was very good in In the Valley of Elah, as a father trying to figure out the murder of his soldier son - but it's the film's only nomination. Same goes with Viggo Mortensen, I was impressed with him in Eastern Promises, but the film's reception was less impressive. He'll get a few votes though because he did an entire fight scene in the nude. The only thing I'm wondering about in this category is if Day-Lewis will dedicate his award to Heath Ledger or not.

my final prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Best Actress in a Leading Role
ew's pick: Julie Christie, Away From Her
my vote: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Julie Christie as the Alzheimer's-stricken wife in Away From Her was very well-done. The movie, on the other hand, was rather tough to sit through. EW has put Ellen Page in second place and today IMDb said she is favored to win. She must have gained some steam that I wasn't totally aware of. I think Marion Cotillard's portrayal of Parisian singer Edith Piaf was seriously the best of the year. She carried that whole film herself and showed such a range of emotion. The filmmakers used Piaf's real singing voice because it was so unique, so that may be held against Cotillard, but her lip-syncing was perfect, if that means anything, haha. I honestly think she is going to pull an upset. Laura Linney was awesome in The Savages, which is one of my favorite movies of 2007 - wonderfully acted and written. I didn't get to see Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth: The Golden Age - partly because I never saw Elizabeth, partly because I'm not interested.

my final prediction: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose

Best Supporting Actor
ew's pick: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
my vote: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Tom Wilkinson is so great in Michael Clayton. I pondered voting for him, but Bardem is just way too chilling as the villain in No Country, I have to pick him. If there is an upset in this category, it will be Hal Holbrook because he's a sentimental favorite, but Bardem is gonna take it, just like he has taken every other award this year. I've actually only seen Bardem's and Wilkinson's performances, but Philip Seymour Hoffman won too recently. Casey Affleck should just be happy he got the nomination because he has no shot (but I'm sure he is great and the nom is deserved).

my final prediction: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Best Supporting Actress
ew's pick: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
my vote: Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
I just had a really hard time deciding this one too. Again, I have not seen Cate Blanchett's performance, which is weird because I love her, but that movie hasn't been released anywhere convenient. She won this category 3 years ago, but her performace looks like a great one. She did win the Golden Globe, but she had never won a globe before (which is kind of insulting). Since she has won the Oscar, I would say her chances are slimmer. Ruby Dee is a legend (or so my youngself has been told). Her performance in American Gangster is strong, but she's on screen for about 5 minutes in a 3 hour movie. She did win the SAG Award though, which was surprising. Saoirse Ronan was great in Atonement, but kids winning is rare (just ask Abigail Breslin or Haley Joel Osment). Tilda Swinton is really good in Michael Clayton. When I first saw that EW is predicting her I thought they were a little crazy. But, the more I think about it, the more I see it happening. The film has a lot of nominations this year, but isn't a frontrunner in any category. It is the only film to have more than one acting nomination - it has three. So, the academy may decide to award the film and the acting here with Tilda. I really could see it happening. The only factor that makes me hesitant to say her is that she hasn't won any precursor awards. Dee got the SAG, Blanchett the Globe, and the critics all praised my pick Amy Ryan. When I first saw Gone Baby Gone, I thought, "Wow, that mom was really white trash." And since then I have seen Ryan in a couple places, like Oprah, and have truly realized how transformative her performance is. This category is so hard to call this year, but I'm gonna say...

my final prediction: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Best Original Screenplay
ew's pick: Diablo Cody, Juno
my vote: Tamara Jenkins, The Savages
The Savages was such a well-written film. It had humor, intelligence, and such a genuine feel to it. The characters were so real. I have never gone through the process of placing a loved one into a nursing home, but having seen my aunt go through it, I could even relate to this script. I can't express how great this movie is. I don't think it has a shot at winning, but it is my choice. Juno will definitely take this prize and it is a worthy winner - again, funny, smart, and humanistic. Michael Clayton is definitely a strong contender here too. The nomination for Ratatouille just shows that it will win Best Animated Feature. Lars and the Real Girl is the only one I haven't seen, but it looks good - I don't think it has a shot at winning though.

my final prediction: Diablo Cody, Juno

Best Adapted Screenplay
ew's pick: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
my vote: Christopher Hampton, Atonement
I think that of these nominees Atonement is the best written piece. The story has layers, which all unfold uniquely. Visually, there was sometimes too much forced artsyness. But I'm always a sucker for a drawn-out love story, so I would vote for this here. No Country for Old Men is good and unique, but there's a few plot points I found a bit too odd - and that's the Coen brothers and that's what works for them, I just wouldn't pick it as best written. There Will Be Blood is a strong contender in this category, but there are some silent parts and dialogue coming from the actors that aren't Daniel Day-Lewis just don't sound as good, haha. Away From Her is a good story idea, but, in my opinion, the script didn't pan out. The other nominee is The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, which is about the editor of Elle magazine and how he becomes paralyzed after suffering a stroke. A heartbreaking story, I'm sure, I want to see it. I prefer Atonement, but I think the Academy is into praising the Coen brothers this year.

my final prediction: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Best Documentary Feature
ew's pick: Charles Ferguson's No End in Sight
my vote: Michael Moore's Sicko
Of the five nominees, I have only seen the above two. No End in Sight is about the Iraq War and how the Bush Administration poorly planned, well, everything that would take place after the invasion. It was very interesting and eye-opening. Why I think it will win is because, while it is clear the filmmakers are opposed to the war, the film is a little less biased than Moore's Sicko. I would vote for Sicko because I found it more entertaining and it has more rewatchability - mainly because it features a lot of everyday people speaking more casually. No End in Sight has too many scholarly people talking, which made it a little harder to sit through. I understood everything they were saying, it just wasn't as engaging. Also, some of the points made in No End in Sight were things I already knew (mainly from watching Rosie on The View). I didn't really know anything about socialized medicine and how people in the countries who have it live. So, I think I was enlightened more by Moore's Sicko. Both documentaries deal with very hot political topics and are both worth seeing. I think No End in Sight will win because most people support the withdrawal from Iraq, while there are too many people opposed to or undecided on universal healthcare. Also, some Academy members may still be pissed about Moore's acceptance speech for Bowling for Columbine, in which he called George W. Bush a fake president. Not too surprisingly, I think Moore is a brave genius.

my final prediction: Charles Ferguson's No End in Sight

Best Animated Feature
ew's pick: Ratatouille
I'm not gonna pick one because I have only seen one of the three nominees. Surf's Up looks cute and I hear it's good. Persepolis looks really good, I really want to see it. It is based on the graphic memoir of a woman growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. I have a feeling I would vote for this if I get to see it. Ratatouille is good though, I enjoyed it. And the fact that its screenplay is nominated makes me think it will win.

my final prediction: Ratatouille

Best Film Editing
ew's pick: No Country for Old Men
my vote: No Country for Old Men
Only two of the nominees are nominated for Best Picture, so that kinda rules out the other three nominees. I'm dying to see Into the Wild, but don't think it will take this. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly could have a shot, but I doubt it. The Bourne Ultimatum is the Academy's obligatory "let's pretend to appreciate action films" nominee. There Will Be Blood is a very good movie, but it's very long. No Country tells a more intricate story because it weaves together different characters (but all one storyline). It has the better editing of the two I've seen.

my final prediction: No Country for Old Men

Best Cinematography
ew's pick: There Will Be Blood
my vote: Atonement
Cinematographer Roger Deakins is nominated here twice for No Country and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (that's a mouthful title). That may split his votes and send the Oscar home with someone else. But, at the same time, are people gonna vote for Jesse James? Are we sure all the Academy members watched it? Also, did No Country really have great cinematography? There Will Be Blood did have some beautiful landscape shots. So did Atonement, which I would vote for because it's a more colorful film. There Will Be Blood had some rather bland coloring - it suits the film, but it would affect my vote here. I guess I'll side with my bible and say...

my final prediction: There Will Be Blood

Any other comments I would have to make on the rest of the technical awards would be just based off of previous Academy habits. Well, how else would I do it?

Art Direction will go to Sweeney Todd because it was the most extravagant of the noms.
Costume Design is puzzling me, but I'll say Sweeney Todd here too.
Makeup will go to La Vie en Rose because it's the only serious film nominated.
Original Score will go to Atonement because it relied on music a good amount.
Original Song will go to Once because the votes for the 3 songs from Enchanted will be too split up.
Sound Mixing will go to Transformers because of the special effects, although No Country is the only Best Pic nominee here, so it stands a good chance.
Sound Editing and Visual Effects will also go to Transformers.

I haven't seen any of the nominees for Foreign Language Film, Documentary Short, Live-Action Short, nor Animated Short so I'm not even going to pretend I know what I'm talking about.

So, we shall see how I do.
Tune in: Sunday, February 24th at 8:00 pm on ABC

This is so Gaye

2008-02-22T01:13:00.001-05:00

Lyrics to "What's Going On" (1971):

Mother, mother
There's too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today - Ya

Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Ah, what's going on

In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on
Right on

Father, father, everybody thinks we're wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Tell me what's going on
I'll tell you what's going on - Uh
Right on baby
Right on baby

- Marvin Gaye

it's amazing how these lyrics resonate today
as history repeats itself

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T14:34:00.005-05:00

even though I kinda think this "holiday" was created by Hallmark in an effort to sell more greeting cards... Happy Valentine's Day, Bitches!

and now the big unveiling... I know you have all been waiting patiently to find out who my valentine is going to be this year. It is, for the second year in a row, but this time we are in the same country...

Kara Jennifer Sharkey!!

Happy V-Day Kar! I love you.

your gifts are below:

don't expect real chocolates because i'm broke

i don't know if you like daffodils, but roses were too cliche

it's been a while...

2008-02-12T20:08:00.001-05:00

So, I have really sucked at blogging since I've been back at school. I got out of the groove of writing and had to get into the groove of my new classes and all that, but here I am. And I have a lot to write about. Let's get started:

Holy shit, Heath Ledger died!! It's been a few weeks now and I am still shocked. It is such a loss. He definitely would have won an Oscar in the near future. I thought it was beautiful when Daniel Day-Lewis dedicated his SAG award win to Heath. Also, when Daniel was on Oprah, talking about his Oscar nomination, he made sure to mention Heath. He was pretty affected by it and I thought it was so touching. I love Daniel Day-Lewis and I am dying to see There Will Be Blood - I think I'm going this weekend. And like Daniel said, Heath was so great and hearbreaking in Brokeback Mountain. I admire Heath just for taking that role - and then he kicked ass in it! haha. I also love Heath in Ten Things I Hate About You. I loved that movie when it came out, when it was age-appropriate, and I still love it now. That's actually pretty cool for our generation, he did a great teen-movie when we were the right age and then he did a great drama when he had all matured. We saw him on screen and aged with him. His talent will be missed. RIP Heath.

I've also seen a bunch of movies. I'll admit it, I went to see 27 Dresses. It was cute and entertaining, you get exactly what you expect. Katherine Heigl is beautiful. She was on Oprah recently and she seems so down-to-earth, I want to hang out with her. I also saw The Bucket List and it really surprised me. Now, I love Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, but this looked like a paycheck movie to me. "Paycheck movie" was coined by my bible, Entertainment Weekly. It is used for when a big star does a movie for the money and not the film quality. And, as EW says, it's not meant to be offensive, it's just that we expect more out of you. However, The Bucket List was very touching and entertaining. Jack and Morgan were funny and great, of course. The end is rather sad, but inspirational at the same time. Also, Sean Hayes is in the movie and I love him.

Now for the less light-hearted films that I've seen: The Kite Runner was great. I really regret not reading the book because the story was beautiful and touching. I saw it with my aunt and she had read the book recently and still liked it. It's directed by Marc Forster, who did Finding Neverland, which I loved. I'm a little disappointed that his next movie is a 007 one, but oh well. The film has unknown actors which works really well for it. I'm taking an Italian film course this semester and we're covering a lot of Neo-Realism films, which use unknown actors and shoot on location to give the film an almost documentary-like feel. I don't know how my professor would feel about my comparing TKR to the classic films we are studying, but I'd say it's a decent comparison because star quality just would not fit with this film. I'm a little disappointed that this movie didn't get more attention from the Oscars, but oh well, I really liked it and I recommend it to everyone, but get ready for subtitles!

Speaking of overlooked by Oscar, The Great Debaters was so powerful, I loved this too. Of course, Denzel Washington is the man and he's good in it and he directed it. The movie shows Denzel's character as integral to organizing a union in the south and the meetings get busted up and Denzel gets arrested. It's pretty interesting to see what they went through. Damn racists. The kids that make up the debating team are aweseome though, they totally make the movie. They go through a lot of crap, being black student debaters in the racist south. They also witness a lynching, which is terrifying to see on film and crazy to think that this stuff happened/happens. The students kick ass in their debates and go onto to debate at Harvard against some cocky white boys. I won't give away the ending, but since it has been made into a movie you can probably guess who wins the debate...

I was also pleasantly surprised by Sweeney Todd. I was interested in seeing it, but it looked weird and I wasn't sure if it would totally be my thing. So, it was better than I expected. It was definitely weird and very dark, but so entertaining. I love musicals and Johnny Depp is a great actor. Really bloody - Tim Burton is crazy, but a visionary. Actually, I just watched Big Fish for the first time and really liked it a lot. Rachel has been telling me to watch it since freshman year and I'm glad I finally did. I recommend both of these Burton films. If, ya know, anyone is actually reading this.

I need to see Michael Clayton again to totally understand it, but it was good. The acting is the strongest feature of it. George Clooney and Tilda Swinton are both really good. I'd have to say that Tom Wilkinson is the best though. His character is crazy and he is seriously nuts and he plays it to perfection. I doubt any critics will predict for him to win the Oscar, but I think he should be one of the top contendors.

Juno. I liked it a lot, I didn't love it. I think I would have loved it had they not put all the funniest lines in the previews. But it was still good and entertaining and original. And original writing is what I look for the most in a film, so I definitely recommend this, just don't get your hopes up too high like I did. I think I was expecting another Little Miss Sunshine and it just wasn't. I do think that Diablo Cody will get the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. Ellen Page is impressive, in the title role, but she won't take the Oscar home.

And finally, I also saw Atonement. I liked it. It was very powerful (I know, I need a bigger vocab sometimes), but, like Juno, I didn't love it. I had my hopes up too high again. It was different than what I was expecting. I thought it would be a typical dramatic love story, which it was, but there was more suspense and a creepy factor to it. It's hard to put into words, but it was more artsy than I was expecting (which is fine, just surprised). James McAvoy is really good. Keira Knightley is good too and so freakin skinny. I don't think it will win Best Picture because Joe Wright did not get nominated for Best Director. The little girl, though, Saoirse Ronan, is superb. She dropped her Irish brogue to have an English accent. She's going to play Susie Salmon in The Lovely Bones and I think she's gonna be great, I love that book.

And this incredibly long post comes to an end. I do wanna talk more specifically about the Oscar noms, Super Tuesday, and I went to an anti-war rally in town the other day, but I'm tired of writing right now.

Peace!

The Glass Castle

2008-01-08T02:50:00.001-05:00

The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls, is a phenomenal memoir written by a very intelligent and brave woman. Walls grew up in poverty with two very unique parents. She writes of her childhood so beautifully, it makes it hard to hate her neglectful parents because their love is very apparent.

Jeannette's earliest memory is cooking hot dogs for herself at the age of three and her body catching on fire. She has an extended stay at the hospital, receiving skin graphing and then checking out in a rather unique way.

Her family is always on the move, "doing the skedaddle" as her dad calls it, because they constantly have to dodge different debts and bills they can't afford to pay. One of the most touching parts of the book is when they are living in a trailer park and the parents cannot afford christmas presents for Jeannette and her siblings (she has three). Their dad takes each of them out into the desert and lets each one of them pick a star in the sky as their present. Jeannette picks one and her dad tells her that is the planet is Venus. As the book progresses, no matter how bad things get with the dad, Jeannette holds onto this positive memory as a sort of "saving grace" to her father's persona.

They live in a couple different houses over time, either inherited from a grandmother or with a grandmother. Both locations have their interesting stories that come along with them. One house is in the desert without air conditioning, so they leave all of the windows and doors open at night for air circulation, which also allows drunk and homeless people to wander inside their house at all hours of the night. The other house is in West Virginia and their grandmother is, well, a crazy bitch. The way she makes the kids live when the parents leave town for a while is shocking.

Jeannette's parents then buy a place of their own - basically, it's a shack with no indoor plumbing. The kids have trouble fitting in at school since they are poor and Jeannette spends her lunch period in the bathroom so that nobody will realize she has no food. Her dad struggles with alcoholism. I don't even know how to describe her mother. I do love the father when Jeannette shares his outbursts at the priest's sermons in church - hilarious!

Eventually, Jeannette and her older sister, Lori, save up money and they move to New York City. Jeannette finished the story with how they get their lives together in the big apple, becoming educated and bringing their younger siblings out there. And, eventually, their parents follow them and live on the streets.

So much happens in this book and it isn't even that long. It is so powerful and beautiful, I recommend this memoir to anyone and everyone. I call Jeannette brave because she has said that she was afraid to share her story. She has become much more upper-class in stature and worried that she would be "kicked out" if people knew about her past. She has said, however, that she has received much compassion for sharing her story. I am very happy for her. I feel like I know her. I really want to go see her speak somewhere.

Everyone read The Glass Castle!!

Eat, Pray, Love

2007-12-31T14:45:00.001-05:00

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search For Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia is a fantastic book. The author, Elizabeth Gilbert, is very funny and very smart. I would often laugh out loud. Other times, she would say things that were so poignant I would be reaching for my highlighter. But then I remembered this book was my roommate's and I put the highlighter down. Gilbert was in a marriage that was no longer fulfilling her and they were trying for kids when she didn't really want any. One night she cries alone in her bathroom and prays to God, which was shocking to her, as she never prays. She ultimately decides to leave her husband and, after a bitter divorce, goes on a year-long journey to the three countries stated in the title, spending 4 months in each place.

The book is her memoir of the travels. She writes so smoothly, it feels like you are having a conversation with her. Gilbert goes on this journey to expose herself to other cultures, find God, and, most importantly, find herself. I was a little nervous about the Pray/Finding God section, because I can't take preachy Jesus Freaks. But she studies Buddhism and it is actually really interesting. I enjoyed learning about the habits of the people in India.

In Italy, she does sight-seeing and makes friends and takes classes to learn Italian because it makes her feel sexy. She also does a lot of eating. In the end, she gains over 20 pounds during her 4 months in Italy. I read this section a while ago and then had to put the book down for a while because of schoolwork, so I'm having trouble remembering specific occurences that I enjoyed, but I know I laughed out loud and felt inspired to travel to a country for the sole purpose of eating a lot of food.

In India, Liz stays in an Ashram, which she compares to a dormitory. She discusses the Buddhists typical habits, like praying every morning at like 3am, or some ridiculously early time like that. She shares that one time her roommate accidentally locked her in their room and she became so panicked about missing her morning prayer time that she jumped out the window, not even caring that she cut herself up. It was fascinating to see how wrapped-up in the new customs she had become. She also meets a guy friend there who is from Texas and he's really funny. And, like Liz, he sometimes says the most intelligent comments. It is nice to see someone positive to come out of the South.

I would have to say that Indonesia/Love is my favorite section of the book. She develops a strong relationship with a man and greatly helps out a friend. This friend is a healer and the things she does are fascinating, so interesting to read about. There is also a guy that Liz befriends who is from New York. He has been deported as a result of the Patriot Act and Liz shares his story, it is heartbreaking. His wife is still in NY and they really only have contact through email. This man clearly loves NY and it is so upsetting to know that he can never return to it. I don't wanna say anymore because I want everyone to read it. It is a wonderful book. Go get it!

Still not sold? Every so often she makes some humorous anti-Bush comments, so start reading now!

Bee Movie

2007-12-18T17:09:00.000-05:00

Finals week is finally over! That was such a stressful week, allowing me no time to make any posts here. During the last week of class, Maggie and I decided, on a whim, to go and see Bee Movie. We both enjoyed it more than we thought we would.

Maggie isn't a big fan of Seinfeld nor Renee Zellweger, so her enjoyment of the film really says something.

Jerry Seinfeld plays Barry B. Benson, a bee that just graduated from college and needs to pick a career. Scary, I know. He ventures outside the nest (or hive, or comb) and is almost killed, but Zellweger's character, Vanessa Bloome, saves his life. They form a friendship because Barry shows us that Bees can talk.

Barry then gets pissed about our use and commercialization of honey. Know who Ray Liotta is before you see this movie because they make fun of him. Barry sues the human race and it is pretty funny. Barry makes some good points about our abuse of the bees, when nature would not carry on without them to pollinate. They make some of those corny "all lives have value" statements, which is fine; I still don't like animals, but I don't wish them all dead. There, ya happy?

So, I would say go see this movie. If you're not all about it, then don't rush to the theater, but do rent it. It is funny and entertaining. Definitely better than Shrek the Third. I would want to compare it to Ratatouille because they are both up for the Golden Globe now, but I've fallen asleep both times I tried to watch it. Not because I didn't like it, but I was just really tired.

The Golden Globe noms are a whole other thing tho, I would want to do a big post on them, but I sucked at going to the movies this semester so I have too many to see. I'll think of something to blog about them...

A Simple Plan

2007-12-02T16:23:00.000-05:00

A Simple Plan (1998), directed by Sam Raimi, is one of those movies I've been meaning to see ever since it came out. A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to catch it on TV. On Showtime, so it wasn't edited down and stuff. I thought it was great. I was so impressed. I quickly bought it at my closing Hollywood Video for like four bucks.

Brothers Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton, and Billy Bob's very hick friend find a huge amount of money in a small, downed plane in the middle of the woods. They come up with a simple plan to keep the money for themselves. Then, of course, many things go awry and there are many edge-of-your-seat scenes.

Billy Bob's character is mentally slow. His performance is very impressive. He definitely deserved the Oscar nomination he got. Reviewer Leonard Maltin cites his performance as the reason to see the film. I would say it is one of the reasons. I really like the story and the ending is heartbreaking. Maltin wasn't really a fan of the story.

Bridget Fonda plays the pregnant wife of Paxton. Her character embodies an interesting paradox. She comes up with a lot of smaller plans in order for the larger plan to be perfectly executed. Her plans appear to be very smart, but then they wind up being the things that go sour and cause more chaos and crime. Her performance is great too.

I can't say too much more without giving away key plot points. I reccomend checking out this movie if you have not seen it yet. It is very entertaining and really keeps the viewer on edge.

The film is an adaptation of Scott Smith's novel of the same name. I haven't read it, but I should to compare and contrast.

World AIDS Day

2007-12-01T13:51:00.001-05:00

Today, December 1st, is World AIDS Day. I hope everyone takes just a minute out of their day to stop and think about all of the lives that have been lost to this tragic disease. I believe that one day there will be a cure. I hope that day is soon.

Here are some sites about today to check out:

World AIDS Day 2007

(RED) Campaign

Wikipedia info on the day

Tonight, I am going to the AIDS benefit on campus. I will blog about it when I get back.

The AIDS Benefit was awesome! It was put on by the University Theatre. They did a revue with a lot of songs I haven't heard before and it was really entertaining. My friend Jackie knew like every song and the shows they were from. The cast was so great! The show did make me kind of sad though because I hate that I have no musical talent. Between ticket prices, donations and the silent auction they raised over 4,000 dollars for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, which is so awesome. Thanks for taking me, Jackie!

Religious Thought

2007-12-01T04:51:00.000-05:00

"Religion has caused more deaths than anything else. That's all religions. Christians are just as bad as Muslims - maybe worse."
-Dr. Myrsiades

I have a Lit Seminar this semester and I really don't enjoy it. The topic is the Trojan War and I just don't find it interesting. My professor is a nice man, but rather boring. But one of the days early in the semester he said the above quote. Ever since then, no matter how boring I've found him, I respect him. Then he was talking about things I never even thought about, like the Salem Witch Trials and how that was many deaths at the hands of Christians.

I know that there are people out there who hate Americans and our lifestyle and therefore want to kill us. And I agree that is scary. However, there are plenty people in this country that want to kill Americans as well. Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist living within our own country. Not only that, but there are plenty Americans that hate other cultures and want to kill those that follow these other lifestyles - I don't understand how people don't realize it's the same thing.

Even scarier, we are currently being led by people that think the wisest idea is to use deadly warfare against these "others." These people are devout Christians ruling a country where Christianity and its branches are widespread; not unlike Islam being widespread throughout the Middle East.

But actually, they are unlike one another. America is the strongest, richest, most powerful country in the world. When you are viewed as a threat to us that is threatening to your country. And since we are this high-ranking country, why should we cower in fear of the terrorists?

Last year on The View, Rosie (my girl) said "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as Radical Islam in a country like America, where we have the separation between church and state." People went nuts. The YouTube video of this is even titled "Rosie O'Donnell is out of her mind!" Well, Muslims have no voice in this country - they are widely condemned as evil and our political leaders are christians, so how is Islam more threatening? Who is really out of their mind?

When Rosie said this, Joy and Elisabeth said something to the effect of "we're not bombing people in our country" and "Christians aren't threatening to bomb innocent people." Exactly right, ladies! We're not threatening to, we are doing it! No, not in our own country, but we are bombing innocent people in other countries.

Our country is in a sad time right now - I just pondered if I could be arrested for even writing this under some inane clause of the Patriot Act.

As I'm looking at my notebook right now, I just realized that my teacher said the above comment on 9/11/07. How fitting. On 9/11/01 we lost nearly 3,000 Americans after being attacked by Islamic extremists. This event has been used as an excuse for the current administration to basically run amok. Since this day, we have invaded two countries - neither of which had anything to with 9/11, yet the public was led to believe they did. We have lost more than 3,000 Americans in this war. And more than 655,000 Iraqis have been killed.

9/11 is just one landmark in the war of religions. A terrible day, yes. I feel for all the families of that day's victims. I would never want this day to happen again. Not to anyone, yet it is happening to people in other countries. The only difference is that the current terrorism occuring is state-funded. (And no, I do not think our troops are terrorists, nor does Rosie.)

I could probably go on forever with this topic, but I'll wrap it up. Basically, many people in the Middle East think religiously and that is threatening and difficult to deal with. People in America think religiously too - it's just the fact that we have freedom of relgion that makes it seem less threatening. Correct, the President does not force his citizens to follow his same religious beliefs. But his ruling decisions are affected by his religious thoughts.

The current war in Iraq has proved my professor's above statement, Rosie's statement on The View, and my point of this blog entry.

Enough with religious thought!

IMPEACH!!

gotta give rosie a lot of credit

without her

i would not have the guts

or the smarts

to write this post

[editing note: for some reason, there are not the spaces between my paragraphs as I want them, like my below posts.

ironic note: there is a christmas tree in the background of my new header picture. ahh, religion is everywhere.]

Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T02:20:00.000-05:00

and so tonight I ate
my sixth thanksgiving dinner
without my mom

and the first without my father
a very odd feeling-
neither parents’ face at the table

two absent parents
one by cancer
one by choice

I often think of the last thanksgiving with my mom
we ate at my grandmom&pop plunkett’s
also his last thanksgiving
and made it back in time for Will & Grace

we laughed - a classic episode
visiting each of their families with a kitchen timer
I find solace in that episode

my mom wore the pajamas
I had given her the prior christmas
I ate the leftover cookies
we had been sent home with

I don't fill up on meat
I do it with dessert

and tonight I think about
my grandmom marzucco - rip
“my daughter’s boys”
she always said to me and bob

who knows what happens when we die
but I know the two of them are together
chocolate martinis in the sky

30 Rock

2007-11-18T20:35:00.000-05:00

last tv season i decided to watch Grey's Anatomy over 30 Rock and The Office. i made a terrible mistake. luckily, netflix has season one of 30 rock available in their "watch instantly" section. i am now all caught up and loving it.

if you have not seen season one, go out and buy it! i'm gonna ask for it for christmas so i can watch it all over again. tina fey is so clever - what an excellent writer she is. alec baldwin also gets rave reviews for his role and he is great in it. tina and alec were both nominated for emmys in their respective acting categories and that it totally great, but...

i think the best people on the show are Tracy Morgan and Jane Krakowski. they are both hilarious and play their zany roles to believable perfection. tracy plays an amalgamation of himself and eddie murphy (in my opinion), the star of an SNL-like show who does movies where he plays multiple roles and dresses up like women. he has great delivery in his lines - the voice he uses kills me. my absolute favorite part of the season was when he wanted to channel Oprah. tina reminds him to drag out his words, like "We've got John Travoltaaaaa." then alec is talking to tracy - i forget the exact words, but he says something like "if you're confused, just ask yourself what oprah would do." then tracy goes "yeah, what would oprah do?" then looks into the mirror really seriously, in a wig and dress, and says "what would i doooooo?" im sure that's not very funny to read, but tracy's delivery is perfectly hilarious.

jane krakowski playes jenna maroney, the original star of the sketch comedy show and is now more of a sidekick since tracy has joined the cast. she is a total idiot. in one episode, she is picked as one of the sexiest women in comedy by Maxim. as she is posing for photos and there is a lot of noise, one of the reporters asks her if she has a message for the troops. she thinks he means the theatre troupes, to which she replies "ugh, i hate the troupes. they act like their job is so much more important than it is. they are just a bunch of gay men parading around in silly costumes." the public lashes out, calling jenna a terrorist. then tina puts her on hardball to recant her misquote and makes a bigger idiot of herself, confusing the names "Obama" and "Osama." it's hilarious.

i'm so glad this show won the emmy for outstanding comedy series, i think it totally deserves it. excellent writing and acting. i do like tina and alec, hope they got nominated again next year, but i think tracy and jane are underpraised. though, to give credit to Entertainment Weekly (my favorite publication), they just placed Jane Krakowski as the number one item on "The Must List: Ten Things We Love This Week." glad she is getting recognized. i hope she and tracy get emmy noms next year, for they are just as integral to the sitcom as tina and alec.

also, tracy was on The View recently and i thought he was great. he talked about his dealing with DUIs in the public and having children. he was really open and honest and i really respect him for discussing the matter. and, of course, he was funny.

season one is available on dvd and new episodes air on NBC, thursday nights, 8:30. start watching, i want the ratings for this brilliant show to sky rocket!

i'll leave with these quotes:
tina, jane, and alec's new fiance go out to lunch to get to know one another. they are discussing relationships and stuff and then jane says:
"Oh my god. How Sex and the City are we right now? I'm Samantha, you're Charlotte, and [points to tina] you're the lady at home who watches it."

alec: "Sorry, I'm late. I was at a luncheon for Ann Coulter's 60th birthday party."

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic

2007-11-16T18:50:00.001-05:00

i've been really bad about updating already and i just started this blog. but anyway, here is my new thing to rave about: Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel.

Bechdel came to my campus a couple weeks ago and i went to hear her speak. she was really interesting, intelligent, and funny. she has been the artist and writer of a long-running comic strip entitled "Dykes To Watch Out For." i had never heard of it before, but i've looked at some issues of it since her speech and it's pretty funny. it's like a sitcom or soap opera of a group of friends, most are lesbians, and it's about their everyday lives. Bechdel has been doing the strip for 20some years, so it was interesting when she spoke about the fact that when she started DTWOF it was considered radical and controversial, but now it's more conventional, which is, of course, a good thing.

Fun Home is the graphic memoir of her childhood. it is the first time i have read a graphic novel. i'm embarrassed to admit (but i'll share cause it's funny) that i always thought "graphic novel" meant that there were scenes which were described with a lot of gore; not that the book included pictures/graphics. so anyway, Bechdel's novel, on the inside, looks like a comic strip, but it reads like a novel. it is very cleverly written.

Alison's father is incredibly anal about the appearance of their home and it really affects their relationship and her view of him. the most poignant parts of the story, though, are that Alison uncovers and embraces her lesbianism. and THEN, she finds out that her father is gay and she had no idea. he used to have affairs with teenage boys when Alison was a child and she never realized, but now it all adds up to her. shortly after her coming-out, they have a really interesting conversation about they gayness and it is the only time they talk about it.

Not only that, but her father dies by getting hit by a truck. Alison, however, feels that his death is a result of suicide. she has some really interesting evidence to back up her theory - it really makes you wonder.

the book has a lot of literary references/comparisons. while i wasn't familiar with them all, she explains and writes in a way that they are clear and understood. so, the book had its educational parts to it as well.

i actually covered her visit and wrote about the book and her comic strip for the school newspaper. a lot of my points will be repeated, but if you wanna check out my article here is the link: Bechdel spreads word about comic

not only that, but on her website she has a link to email her and under it says that she's really bad at getting back to people. so, i figured, i should at least send her my article, maybe she'll read it. not only did she read it, but she replied and with an awesome message:
Wow, Brian.
That's a very comprehensive and well-written piece.
Thank you so much!
And I'm really glad you liked my book. It was great to meet you.
You say you want to be a writer...but I think you already are.
Alison
how cool is that? i got a huge compliment from a real, published writer.

so, i thought this book was great. it's not very long, so even if you're not a big reader you should check it out. go to the store or shop online and buy it!

Gone Baby Gone

2007-10-26T18:05:00.000-04:00

last weekend i went to see Gone Baby Gone. i was excited to see it because the novel it is based on is by Dennis Lehane, the same author of Mystic River. i have never read Mystic River, but the film is one of my favorites. all in all, i found it to be a good film. i didn't love it, but was definitely entertained. the ending really makes you think and question if you really know right from wrong.

it is the first movie that Ben Affleck has directed and i would say it is a good debut. he made an interesting film, but i wasn't blown away. he has proved that he can make a quality film, but has not set the bar too high, which would make for a good chance of being disappointed by his second venture behind the camera. his brother, Casey Affleck, is the star of the film and i was very impressed with his acting. i wasn't sure if he could carry an entire film, but he pulled it off well.

there are a couple reasons why i didn't love the movie. structurally, the story unfolds oddly. there seems to be a conclusion in the middle of the film. then, another story begins and the film's ending goes back to the first story. this probably sounds weird without having seen it. and, in the end, the story makes sense, but, while watching it, the layout just felt rather flawed.

also, there is the lead female character. the actress' name is Michelle Monaghan and i would not say that she did anything wrong. i blame this on the writing. at first, her character seems like she will be strong and important. i felt as though throughout the film she was underdeveloped and underused. she has a couple decent scenes, taking a leap of faith in the middle and having a major disagreeance with Casey's character in the end. but, i dunno, i felt like they could have, and were going to, do more with her character.

it sounds like i have more negative things to say about this film than positive, but i'm just critical. i would suggest seeing this film, for it is well-made and i appreciate any film that makes you think in the end. it can definitely generate good conversation and that's a great quality.

people are talking oscar buzz, but i'm gonna say it won't make much of a dent on the nomination list.

so, i am starting a blog...

2007-10-25T23:02:00.000-04:00

"every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"
-semisonic, closing time

i've never been one to keep a diary. or online journal. so i guess my beginning a blog is the end of not documenting my thoughts. i do, however, have a shoebox full of notes me and rosie wrote to each other in high school. if nothing else, i'm sure those notes would prove that we were cokeheads in high school, despite the fact that we were not snorting drugs.

above is a little collage of different things i like. i was bored, evidently. but i think it makes a nice header. look it over, check out some of the things on there you may not have seen or read. actually, that is one of my main reasons for beginning a blog. i want to review movies, books, tv shows. i also am tired of facebook and need something new to distract me from my school work.

i wanted to begin this blog in some sort of entertaining way, but instead this post came out. i guess that's it for now. check back soon and maybe i'll have a new post. or maybe this will become similar to my 5th grade journal - i wrote after my first day of school and then never again. let's hope for the first one.